Leslie Knope: Now travel back in time with me to 1840 when William Henry Harrison, Old Tippecanoe, runs for president. And his campaign rolls this giant tin and paper ball from town to town, while Americans everywhere sing along. Hit it, gang. [playing folk music]
Folk Singers: What has caused this great commotion motion motion Our country through It is the ball a-Rolling on
Leslie Knope: They're talking about this ball.
Folk Singers: For Tippecanoe and Tyler too Tippecanoe and Tyler too... And with them we'll beat little Van
Leslie Knope: Van's Martin van Buren. That's who.
Folk Singers: Van is a used up man And with them we'll beat little Van.

Tom: Wow, that was cool. Said some boring idiot from 200 years ago. Who cares about some dumb grandpa and a tin ball? That's the past. Gryzzl is the future. The Newport land will become the Midwest headquarters of America's most dynamic technology company.
Donna: Here to introduce our vision is Annabel Porter from Bloosh and the sexy ladies known in Pawnee as The Somebody's Daughter Dancers.
Annabel Porter: Fresh. Innovative. Place-Making. Disposable duvets. Growth-Hacking. Super-Moon Gryzzl. Now come with me as we binge watch the future.

Leslie Knope: You know what? I can't stand you. I can't stand your stupid mustache and your stupid shirt, and your stupid name, Ron. Ron. It's not even a word.
Ron Swanson: Well, I have had just about enough of your stubborn behavior. Ever since the Morningstar incident, you have been completely unreasonable.
Leslie Knope: You are the unreasonable one! You've been unreasonable way before Morningstar. You're the most unreasonable, stubborn person I have ever met. And I am never gonna change my mind on that, no matter what anybody says!
Ron Swanson: You're not that good at scrapbooking.
Leslie Knope: What?

Ben: This is like when the triplets fight, except I can't just give Leslie and Ron stuffed animals to make them calm down. Actually, that might work. Have we tried that?

Ben: You okay?
Leslie Knope: Yeah, well I ordered 60 veggie pizzas to Ron's office, so that calmed me down a little.
Ben: I know you're furious at him. But please, come to a neutral site and sit with Ron for 30 seconds so I can get this dumb document signed.
Leslie Knope: Ugh.
Ben: I'll let you rename the triplets Ruth, Bader, and Ginsburg.
Leslie Knope: Okay, fine. But I get to sign first.
Ben: Oh, my God.

Leslie Knope: What? What's going on? What's going on?
Ron Swanson: Let us out immediately.
Ben: No. You guys are being ridiculous. This has gone too far, and you are not leaving this office until you've made peace.
Both: Nooo!