Tom: Sorry about the audible. I just realized Lucy doesn't care about all that flashy stuff. That's not the way to her heart. Frankly, I'm stunned she's still even into me.
Leslie Knope: No, you were right to change course. It was perfect and beautiful. There's still a very big celebration awaiting you and your fiancée.
Tom: I think Lucy probably wants to hang just the two of us. I'll see you later, Jennifer Knopez.
Leslie Knope: Catch you on the flip side, Tom-egranate Juice.
Tom: Hey, not bad.

Leslie Knope: The passing of our beloved Mayor Gunderson marks the end of an era. But we are about to begin a new chapter in Pawnee's history. Ladies and gentlemen, the new mayor of the great city of Pawnee, Indiana, Garry Gergich.
Jerry: I just want to say... I'm flying!

Dr. Saperstein: What a lovely offer, but I think not. You know, I've got my hands full with my practice, my other businesses, my two terrible children. I don't think I have time to be mayor.
Mona-Lisa: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Hold up. I will do John Mayer. Again. [laughs] Daddy, someone set a fire in your car. [sing-songy] Because you took too long and I got bored. Money, please.
Ben: Oh, no, no. There's no money.
Mona-Lisa: Oh. My bad. No problem. Oh, okay. That's fine. I'll just destroy this office.

Ben: I have to say, The Douche, I'm skeptical that your interest is sincere.
The Douche: I can understand that. A morning shock-jock DJ, the mayor? But keep an open mind. I went to Northwestern, I've worked on two political campaigns, and I spend all of my time communicating with the public.
Ben: That's actually a good point.
The Douche: I could do some great things for this city. And some gross things with those juicy City Hall interns. Ga-ga-goink! [flatulence]
Ben: Okay, well, thanks for coming in.
The Douche: All right, B. Let me know.