Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] At that table are all eight living Tellenson Award winners. Burt Winfield, Geoffrey Morglesberg, Quentin Arble, Dawn Krink, Michael Holloway, I don't know who that is, that's somebody's wife, Horace Rangel, Wilmer Vism and Oscar Pfortmiller. Wait. Oscar Pfortmiller is dead. That's his disappointing son, Theo. Another dynasty. What a testament to my mother. If a bomb went off in here, it would definitely make the Indianapolis papers.

Leslie Knope: So, I need your advice. I'm seated near Janine Restrepo.
Marlene Knope: The queen of the zoning board?
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Am I the only [bleep] person here who doesn't know Janine Restrepo?

Marlene Knope: She's blowing us off.
Leslie Knope: What? No! Really?
Marlene Knope: Honey, she's totally blowing us off.
Leslie Knope: What? That is not conduct worthy of the zoning board.
Marlene Knope: She's a little weasel. Okay, I didn't want to have to use this, but her husband got a DUI in Illinois last week. And she's trying to keep it quiet.
Leslie Knope: Well, everyone has their problems. So, what should my next tactic be?
Marlene Knope: The DUI, Leslie. Let her know you know all about it, connect it to what you want, and then tell her if she doesn't help you, and soon, you're gonna tell everybody in town.
Leslie Knope: I don't think I could do that. I mean, I want to win a Tellenson Award some day. They don't give lifetime achievement awards to people who do things like that.
Marlene Knope: Sweetheart, they only give lifetime achievement awards to people who do things like that. Those are eight of the nastiest, most diabolical people you could ever want to meet. Burt Winfield was a blackmailer. And Dawn Krink slept her way to the top of the DMV. Trip Holloway named names in the '50s. Horace Rangel used the police department to harass journalists. And jeez, honey, Tony Tellenson was the worst. He tried to re-segregate the drinking fountains.

Tom: [aside to camera] I've been dying to go out with Mark. Always thought we'd make a great team. You know? He's handsome, I'm a cutie pie. He's laid back. I'm more in your face, but in a fun way. Ladies don't stand a chance.
[later:]
Mark: Uh... What's with the hat?
Tom: It's called peacocking. Basically, I'm wearing something that kind of makes me stand out, like a peacock. So, the girls will be like, "Hey, what's with that hat?" I'm gonna go peacock it out. I'll be back.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] The people who win awards aren't always the best people. I mean, I think Ann and I are really good people, and someday others will see that and we'll get our due. Would I like to win a Tellenson Award like my mom did? Sure. But my dad never won an award, and he was always happy. He lives in Florida, in a cemetery. The point is, my mom is alive and I love her. She's one tough cookie. That's why everybody calls her "The Iron [bleep] of Pawnee." Fondly.

Ann: [to camera] I haven't been out in so long. Andy being in a cast has definitely put a crimp in our social life. I don't really know Leslie's mom, and I don't know what the Tellenson Award is, but at this moment in my life, it sounds like a magical evening.
Andy: Babe, I'm out of milk.

Ann: [on the phone] How dressy is this, exactly?
Leslie Knope: To the max. It is the most exclusive local government event of the year.
Ann: Really?
Leslie Knope: Yeah. The Tellensons is like the Oscars times the Grammys plus the Super Bowl.
Ann: Wow. Okay. Um, I should probably change.
Leslie Knope: I'm headed to the salon right now.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Salvatore Manfrelotti has been cutting hair across from Pioneer Hall since 1958. All the movers and shakers who come through Pawnee have sat in that chair at one point or another. I mean, he's the guy that made Larry Bird look the way he does.

Leslie Knope: So, what's the inside scoop, Salvatore?
Salvatore: My feet hurt.
Leslie Knope: [laughs] Classic Salvatore!
Salvatore: Do I know you?
Leslie Knope: Uh, no. This is my first official political haircut. I'm Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation.
Salvatore: Are you related to that Marlene Something-Knope?
Leslie Knope: That depends. Would you call being her daughter related?
Salvatore: What the hell else would you call it? Now, what do you want me to do with this?
Leslie Knope: Well, my mom is being honored tonight. So, in a way, I am also being honored. And I just wanted to mix things up a little bit, you know? Pin it up, something sassy, but powerful and dynastic.

Leslie Knope: Hi, April.
April: Good evening, sir.
Leslie Knope: I'm off the clock, April. You don't need to call me sir.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Salvatore calls this hairdo "The Mayor." And yes, I will wear my hair like this when I am the first female mayor of Pawnee.