Councilman Jamm: Ron, I need that crotch-blinder.
Ron Swanson: No, you don't. Just end it.
Councilman Jamm: [exhales deeply]
Tammy Two: Look at my boobs.
Councilman Jamm: No.
Tammy Two: Look downstairs.
Councilman Jamm: No.
Tammy Two: There's a prize inside for you.
Councilman Jamm: It's over, Tammy.
Tammy Two: What?
Councilman Jamm: To hell with you, woman. Good-bye.
Tammy Two: How dare you? Are you kidding me? You'll be back! They all come back!
Ron Swanson: Well done, Jeremy. Turns out the crotch-blinder was inside you all along.

Ben: April, you looked at one horrifying job. I've got a few more ideas. We'll find you something you like, okay?
April: Okay. But you can't tell Leslie I might leave. She'll have a heart attack. Promise?
Ben: I promise.
April: Why are you so into helping me right now?
Ben: Because I'm finally doing what I love, and I know how hard it is to get to that place. And I want you to be happy because you're my friend.
April: No, I'm not. I've never cared for you. [Ben stands up] Wait, wait. [hugs Ben]
Ben: You're behaving very strangely.
Donna: Saturn's return.

Councilman Jamm: Hey, Brokemons. I just wanted to let you know that I will be abstaining from the vote today. You are my two all-time best friends, and you brought me back from the brink, so I can't choose sides. Although if I had to pick one side, it would be Lucy Liu's backside. [laughs]
Leslie Knope: Without Jamm, the vote's two-two. This was all for nothing.
Ron Swanson: I thought it was very big of you to not bend when Tammy promised you the vote.
Leslie Knope: Well, I thought it was very big of you to help him at all. You didn't have to do that. Okay, back to work to figure out how to destroy you.
Ron Swanson: Same. Good bye.

Andy: [aside to camera] This couldn't have worked out any better. There was a guy eating lunch in here who didn't finish his spaghetti. Oh, also, Tom and Lucy are totally going to fall in love! [drops plate] Five second rule!