Ron Swanson Quote #412
Quote from Ron Swanson in Jerry's Retirement
April: What are you doing here, Jerry? I thought you were fired.
Jerry: I wasn't fired. I retired.
Andy: That's what they all say.
Ron Swanson: I asked Jerry to come in. That new intern wasn't working out, so I got rid of him.
Donna: Once again, I object in the strongest possible terms.
Ron Swanson: Once again, noted. I have also asked Jerry to come in a couple hours a week until we find a permanent replacement.
April: Ugh, just when we were rid of him?
Tom: Yeah, I don't know, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Are you hearing me, son? Jerry will come in once a week, and everyone will get to watch him eat and talk to him about anything he might do or say or fart.
Tom: Welcome back, Jerry.
Jerry: Thank you. Oh, it feels good just to be ba-- [trips]
Andy: [chuckles] Classic new guy.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Jerry's Retirement’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Dr. Van Dyne: So we ran all your tests, and everything looks great. You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen. You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise.
Chris: Yes, I get that a lot.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I am putting together a scrapbook commemorating my first year on the city council. This year whizzed by so fast. There was so much more I wanted to do. But time is the relentless and cruel enemy of the devoted civil servant. It's actually one of the sub-titles of my scrapbook. Probably would've got more stuff done if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here are the last of the Animal Control reports.
April: What are you doing, weirdo?
Tom: Just trying not to spill anything.
Ron Swanson: I believe Leslie said to organize these by year.
Tom: Way ahead of you. I made two pile files. [laughter] Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos.
Andy: Filo pilos? That's not right.
Donna: Are you broken?
Tom: No, everything's fine.
April: Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
Tom: No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.
Andy: Said it wrong.
Tom: Stop it! [laughter]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: This is how it begins. The next "Jerry." One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later, I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The Da Vinci Code on my iPod. It's already started.