Tom Quote #468
Quote from Tom in Jerry's Retirement
Tom: Here are the last of the Animal Control reports.
April: What are you doing, weirdo?
Tom: Just trying not to spill anything.
Ron Swanson: I believe Leslie said to organize these by year.
Tom: Way ahead of you. I made two pile files. [laughter] Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos.
Andy: Filo pilos? That's not right.
Donna: Are you broken?
Tom: No, everything's fine.
April: Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
Tom: No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.
Andy: Said it wrong.
Tom: Stop it! [laughter]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: This is how it begins. The next "Jerry." One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later, I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The Da Vinci Code on my iPod. It's already started.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Jerry's Retirement’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Dr. Van Dyne: So we ran all your tests, and everything looks great. You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen. You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise.
Chris: Yes, I get that a lot.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I am putting together a scrapbook commemorating my first year on the city council. This year whizzed by so fast. There was so much more I wanted to do. But time is the relentless and cruel enemy of the devoted civil servant. It's actually one of the sub-titles of my scrapbook. Probably would've got more stuff done if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Tom: Ronfire of the vanities.
Ron Swanson: Filo Pilo.
Tom: Are you kidding me? Listen, now that Jerry's gone, we need to hire someone to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: A new person in the office?
Tom: Not a person. An intern.
Ron Swanson: Why on earth would I get an intern?
Tom: Interns cost nothing to the taxpayer. And more importantly, they're usually stupid and terrible. So they get no work done. It's like a Jerry you don't have to pay.
Ron Swanson: Damn, son. That is one compelling argument. Keep it up, Filo. We may destroy this government one day after all.