Leslie Knope Quote #1158
Quote from Leslie Knope in Correspondents' Lunch
Kim Terlando: It's nice to be here among all of these excellent journalists. And also the people that work with me over at the Pawnee Sun. [laughter]
Leslie Knope: Damn it. That was my opener. Now I love working at the Sun, okay? And I know you all think it's just a useless tabloid, but it's not. It is great. For housebreaking puppies. [laughter, ohs]
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. Those are my jokes. She's stealing my jokes.
Kim Terlando: Some people say that the Sun has a problem with the truth. There's no problem, we just ignore it.
Jerry: [laughs]
Leslie Knope: Jerry, stop laughing. Those are stolen jokes! Totally dead. What am I gonna do? [can top pops] Oh! I just opened up a can of "whoop ass" on myself!
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Correspondents' Lunch’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I have a press conference about the Pawnee Commons in two hours. So I need to go through every email that I've ever sent, ever. I need to know what they might use against me.
Ron Swanson: You can't hack into a typewriter. That's all I have to say.
Leslie Knope: Can it, Unabomber. This is an emergency.
Quote from April
Ben: Andy, are you okay?
Andy: Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ever since Andy failed the police academy exam, his self-esteem has hit rock bottom. He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Okay, I need more jokes, people. Ben is having his first day at work, so he cannot help me. So I need you guys to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: I have a joke for you.
Leslie Knope: Okay.
Ron Swanson: The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. [laughs goofily]
Leslie Knope: That's not really a joke, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I disagree. I find it hilarious.