Ben: Andy, are you okay?
Andy: Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ever since Andy failed the police academy exam, his self-esteem has hit rock bottom. He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.

Leslie Knope: Okay, I need more jokes, people. Ben is having his first day at work, so he cannot help me. So I need you guys to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: I have a joke for you.
Leslie Knope: Okay.
Ron Swanson: The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. [laughs goofily]
Leslie Knope: That's not really a joke, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I disagree. I find it hilarious.

Leslie Knope: Thank you so much. It's great to be here at the Pawnee Correspondents' Lunch. There's so many wonderful, talented journalists here. Also here are some reporters from the Pawnee Sun. [laughs] Oh, hey, hey. I love the Pawnee Sun. Some people say that it's a useless tabloid. But I don't think it's useless. I think it's great for housebreaking puppies. [all laughing]
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I am prepping for the Pawnee Correspondents' Lunch. It's an annual affair where the media and the government roast each other. My number one target: the Pawnee Sun. 364 days a year, they rake me over the coals. Today, I take those burning coals, I shove them back down their throats, and I watch their melting flesh drip off their worthless faces! It's all in good fun.