Leslie Knope Quote #1157
Quote from Leslie Knope in Correspondents' Lunch
Martin Housely: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pawnee Correspondents' Lunch, where politicians and the media make fun of each other. But, if you ask me, we should be making fun of the food. [as Nixon] "I am not the cook." [laughter]
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, well, well. If it isn't Kim Terlando from the Pawnee Sun. Do you happen to have a can opener? 'Cause I'm about to open this on you.
Kim Terlando: Did you make that can of "whoop ass" for this exact moment?
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I came prepared.
Kim Terlando: I'd expect nothing less. Good luck with your speech.
Leslie Knope: Uh, my speech doesn't need your luck. It needs a Surgeon General's warning because it's so harmful to your health. Oh, look, it has one. [scoffs] That's how ready I am.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Correspondents' Lunch’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I have a press conference about the Pawnee Commons in two hours. So I need to go through every email that I've ever sent, ever. I need to know what they might use against me.
Ron Swanson: You can't hack into a typewriter. That's all I have to say.
Leslie Knope: Can it, Unabomber. This is an emergency.
Quote from April
Ben: Andy, are you okay?
Andy: Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ever since Andy failed the police academy exam, his self-esteem has hit rock bottom. He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Okay, I need more jokes, people. Ben is having his first day at work, so he cannot help me. So I need you guys to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: I have a joke for you.
Leslie Knope: Okay.
Ron Swanson: The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. [laughs goofily]
Leslie Knope: That's not really a joke, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I disagree. I find it hilarious.