Chris Quote #150
Quote from Chris in Leslie vs. April
Andy: What's the play here, officer? You gonna set up a perimeter, maybe bug a few phones? Ooh, I know. We could put out a dummy computer for them to steal, fill it with explosives first, [clicks tongue]... Boom, take 'em all out.
Police Officer: Yeah, we're not doing any of that.
Chris: Andy, I love your enthusiasm, but we don't really have the kind of money to launch a massive investigation.
Andy: You're just gonna fill out this stupid report and that's it? As a future cop, you have to understand, I cannot let this guy go.
Police Officer: Look, man, this is what most police work is. Just writing stuff down. It's not superhero time. If it sounds boring, maybe you ought to do something else.
Chris: Maybe we should find the person who stole his positive attitude.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Leslie vs. April’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Here's my question. How did you used to slow me down when I was becoming too me-ish?
Ron Swanson: Sometimes I'd just give you busy work. I once had you put together a brochure about different kinds of Indiana topsoil.
Leslie Knope: That soil brochure was not busy work. I mean, people still refer to Mulch Ado About Nothing.
Ron Swanson: And if you were particularly amped up about a project, I'd take you to JJ's and distract you with waffles.
Leslie Knope: Those were distraction waffles? I thought they were friendship waffles.
Ron Swanson: Breakfast food can serve many purposes.
Leslie Knope: But what if this person, this Ricky, who is real, doesn't like waffles or anything.
Ron Swanson: Everybody has something they're passionate about. Just figure out what it is, express an interest in it, and divert his attention.
Quote from April
April: Well, I'm sorry, but lot 48 is the only one that works. And I'm definitely bringing it up at the next city council meeting.
Leslie Knope: April, please, I beg of you, I will do anything to keep you from doing that.
April: Okay. Saw off your pinky toe.
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Shave your head.
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Have sex with Jerry.
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Well, I tried to be reasonable.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ben: Mr. Vice President. Ben Wyatt from congressman Murray's office.
Joe Biden: Hey, Ben. Dave told me you were gonna be coming by. And you must be Leslie Knope. Welcome. Welcome.
Leslie Knope: [laughs] You're... My name just came out of your mouth.
Joe Biden: Well, yeah, it did.
Leslie Knope: This isn't happening. This isn't real.
Joe Biden: No, it's happening, and I'm delighted to have you here. On behalf of the president and myself, I wanted to-
Leslie Knope: Oh, Mr. Vice President, I am deeply flattered, but there's no way that I could take over Madam Secretary Clinton's position. I mean-
Joe Biden: I'm confident you could do that job or any other, but the reason-
Leslie Knope: Okay, I will.
Joe Biden: Well, the reason you're here is I'm told you've done such a great job in your town and in the state of Indiana, and I just want to say congratulations for your public service.
Leslie Knope: [caresses Joe Biden's face] And I just want to say thank you.
Joe Biden: Well, you-- you're very welcome. [Leslie holds Joe Biden's arms] You're very welcome. Hey-- y-you're very welcome.
Leslie Knope: You're very handsome.
Ben: I think we're all done.
Joe Biden: Well, you're very nice.
Leslie Knope: Okay. Thank you.
Joe Biden: Thank-- thank you very much.
Leslie Knope: Thank you very much. We'll see you tomorrow.
Joe Biden: Well-- Oh, well, you will?
Ben: Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
Joe Biden: Y-you're welcome.
Leslie Knope: [to the Secret Service agent] You don't let anything happen to him, you understand me? He is precious cargo.