Ben Quote #94
Quote from Ben in The Comeback Kid
Ben: That is a three-legged dog.
Andy: His name is Champion, because he's the dog world champion.
Ben: Okay, I have to ask this, I'm sorry, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him?
Andy: Three! That's what makes him the best. He can do more with three legs than most dogs can do with four.
April: Except for digging. He's really bad at digging.
Andy: And you remember what you said about making decisions in the house? You want to be involved. We get that, so... You just say the word, and Champion goes back to the pound, where he can be put down and killed forever.
Ben: I'm not gonna send a three-legged dog to his death.
Andy: Yes!
Ben: But I'm not gonna take care of him for you.
April: Well, it would be nice if you helped a little. Because, unlike you, Andy and I have jobs.
Ben: Cruel, but fair.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Comeback Kid’ Quotes
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: Ron, how's the stage coming?
Ron Swanson: Well, since we had to jettison the bulk of the wood, this is the biggest I could make it.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. Good lord, what happened to the rest of my face?
Andy: We had to "Jetsons" most of the poster too, but I kind of like it, 'cause windows are the eyes to the house.
Quote from Tom
Tom: [on the phone] Akash, buddy, of course I came to you first. You're the best carpet man in Pawnee. But here's my question. Do your carpets match your drapes? [laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: How do you make any event classy on a budget? Red carpet. My entire apartment is red carpet. On top of that, leading into my bedroom, a second red carpet. Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Ron, you're constructing the stage?
Ron Swanson: Yes, ma'am.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Leslie wanted to hire a contractor to build a stage. I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.