April Quote #232
April: I have to tell you a secret. But if you tell anyone, I will kill you slowly with a giant syringe.
Ann: Good morning, April. What's your secret?
April: I'm thinking about applying to veterinary school in Bloomington.
Ann: Oh, my God, April, that's great! [April holds up a giant syringe] Whoa! Where'd you get that?
April: The Internet. So I really need a letter of recommendation. And since you work in a hospital, as a janitor...
Ann: Nurse.
April: I was wondering if maybe you would write one for me?
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Bailout’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Go ahead, Ron. Let me have it. Oh, wait, I'll do it for you. [as Ron] I told you so, Leslie. This is what happens when the government interferes with business. Government is bad, business is good. Free market. [babbles goofily]
Ron Swanson: Capitalism is the only way, Leslie. It moves our country forward. It's what makes America great. And England okay and France terrible.
Quote from Jerry
Ben: Okay, so you're really gonna say no to Ann?
Chris: I care about Ann very deeply, but... I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a dad.
Jerry: You know, Chris, every parent makes mistakes. I mean, lord knows I've made plenty. But it's the small victories that keep you going. When you see your little one take her first step or... or graduate college, oh, my God, it just makes it all worth it. [chuckles] And another thing is if-- If, like-- If I-- [exhales] You know, and then your kid's-- because you're like--vrrrr-- I don't know. And everyone's like, "Oh." [babbles] Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I--no one ever lets me talk this long. I just got lost.
Chris: It was a beautiful point. And very well said, right up until that moment that you started babbling incoherently.
Quote from Chris
Chris: I made everything worse. If Tom were a bag of flour, that flour would never grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted loaf of bread. Much less a bran muffin, which is the highest honor that flour can achieve.