‘Fluoride’
Season 6, Episode 8 - Aired November 21, 2013
Lesley encounters opposition from Councilman Jamm when she seeks to add fluoride to Pawnee's water supply. Meanwhile, Chris asks Ron to help him build a crib, and Donna and her colleagues try to figure out each other's spirit animals.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Hey, Jessica! Did you do something to your hair? Because, sister, you look good enough to eat. Num num num num num.
Jessica Wicks: What do you want, Leslie?
Leslie Knope: You can't punish Ben for something I did. It's not fair. I love him, and I will do anything to help him get his job back. What do you want?
Jessica Wicks: I want you to formally apologize for what you said about Sweetums. I want you to say that we're a moral, upstanding corporation that you're proud to have in Pawnee. And when you make your apology, I want you to wear a lime-green pantsuit because it will look horrible on you. You are such an autumn.
Quote from Chris
Ron Swanson: If a joint is properly fashioned, all you need to do is guide it into place.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: "All you need to do is guide it into place." What I get from that is, when parenting, sometimes a subtle hand is more effective than a strong one. This is already so much more helpful than the last book on parenting I read, Rad Dads by Apolo Anton Ohno and Shaun White.
Quote from Chris
Chris: Ron, why did you throw that wood away?
Ron Swanson: It's unstable. It's no good.
Chris: I just don't understand "the throwing away the wood" metaphor. What's the lesson? Oh, I know! It's potty-training. That trash can is the toilet, and the wood was the feces.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: "So let's all raise a glass, full of delicious, sugary drinking water, to Sweetums, a Pawnee Institution."
Ben: Leslie, don't do this.
Leslie Knope: I have to, Ben. We can't both be out of a job. What will we do, sleep all day, take cooking classes together, sit on a couch and watch movies? God, that sounds horrible.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Hey, good news. Drink-ems is dead. As of tomorrow, every Pawnee resident will have H-2-flow in their drinking water.
Ben: That's great news. H-2-flow is fluoride, right?
Leslie Knope: I think so. I'll double-check with Tom, but I'm, like, 95% sure.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [answers phone] Leslie Knope. Stop right there. You know what? Fluoride protects your teeth, and it's perfectly healthy for you. Well, if Jamm says that, then he is a lying idiot, and if you believe it, then so are you. [hangs up]