Man: It's a good idea. But I'm just not sure.
Ann: Okay. Which part are you not sure about?
Man: Turning the pit into a park.
Ann: That's kind of the whole thing.

Tom: [on headset] Mickey! What's up, buddy? How's my number one sod man doing? Look, here's the one, two, three of the situation. One, we're building a new park, two, I'm on the committee, three, you're putting in the sod. And who knows, you know? Maybe, down the line, a situation will arise where you could hook me up. Are you gonna commit to coming to this meeting tomorrow, or are you gonna be a bitch? Yes, you do owe me. Tom Haverford.

Tom: [on headset] Am I talking to the two sexiest thighs in landscaping? Yes, I am, 'cause I'm talking to Marcy. How's it going? Tom Haverford. Kevin, your sandboxes are the best. That's why I want you involved! I just want the best monkey bars I can get in my park. I don't mind hooking you up. Maybe, down the line, there'll be a situation where you can hook me up.

Leslie Knope: Do you have, like, a nurse's costume?
Ann: Costume? You mean, like, scrubs?

[When Leslie and Ann arrive at her home, Andy is laid up on the couch playing Rock Band with Mark and April]
Andy: [singing] Please tell me Please tell me why My car is in the front yard Bass! Come on. And I'm sleeping with my clothes on I came in through the window last night

Ron Swanson: Leslie Knope, builder of parks. How was canvassing?
Leslie Knope: Canvassing was okay, but I think we're gonna have to postpone the town meeting.
Ron Swanson: Postpone?
Leslie Knope: Only for one to 90 days.
Ron Swanson: No. You're doing this meeting. You have my full support. I was talking to the city manager, exchanging ideas. Um, there's a mutual respect there. And together, we have decided to fast-track your project.
Leslie Knope: City manager? Wow. Really? I have to cancel this meeting. Fast-track? Did my name come up at all? Oh, this meeting needs to be canceled.
Ron Swanson: Look, just do a good job tomorrow. Okay? We have to push this thing through.
Leslie Knope: Of course. Of course. I'll push anything through anything. You know me.
Ron Swanson: Are you sweating through your suit?
Leslie Knope: I doubt it. It's a very breathable fabric... Oh, yeah. I am.

Tom: Don from Don's Cement. Tom Haverford. Good to see you. I was thinking of a jingle for your company. How's this? [sings] Don's cement It's the best you can get Don's

Leslie Knope: Thank you so much for coming out tonight. This is our first town meeting about the proposal to turn Lot 48 on Sullivan Street into a community park. [silence] Yeah!
Marlene Knope: This is gonna be a train wreck.
[aside to camera:]
Marlene Knope: I want my daughter to be successful, which is why I always tell her, "There's nothing wrong with being a wife and mother."
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Now, there are many people that I spoke to who are passionately in support of this idea. None of them were able to make it tonight, unfortunately. But they totally exist. I did not make them up.

Leslie Knope: That is Andy Dwyer. He is a local resident and he tragically fell in the pit.
Lawrence: Uh, yeah. I don't care about any of that. He's the guy that plays music all night in his garage. It's driving me nuts.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Lawrence lives with his grandma. Which is pretty awesome. He takes care of her, I guess. But whatever, he's a douchebag.
[back:]
Lawrence: It's loud, it's abusive, and it's waking up my birds.
Andy: You have birds, now?
Lawrence: Yeah, I have birds. I have nice, pretty, expensive birds, and you play that music, and it wakes them up.
Andy: Look, I don't work for the government, okay? Uh, I do play rock and roll. Guilty as charged. I'm in a band. It's called Just the Tip. And actually, if anyone here plays bass, we need a bassist.

Tom: I'm oddly attracted to Kate Spivack.
Leslie Knope: Ugh.