Cece: Every woman has a "Tuesday meeting" they haven't been invited to. How many times in your life have you been excluded from something important or talked over or ignored because you're the only woman in the room? It was different when I was running my own company, but ever since we joined with GKM, I've had to start dealing with this male-pattern dumbness.
[flashback:]
Ken: Ugh. What is that?
Cece: It's a breast pump, Ken. I said I needed time to pump, and you refused to change the meeting, so here we are. Now, for the jeans campaign. Which one of these guys says, "I'm having fun in Toronto"? [pumping continues]
[present:]
Cece: So, for half an hour, they had to sit there and watch me get milked like a freaking cow.
Jess: Oh, yeah, your nipples looked like pizza bagels in that thing.
Cece: Yeah, they do.

Winston: You know something, I used to think that Nick was the Guttenberg, but it turns out he may be the little lady.

Cece: Wait, so, you're saying that you're doing Russell's busywork? That you, Jessica Day, former principal of an entire school, is doing his busywork? Nah, girl. Nah, hold up. One sec. [drinks coffee]
Jess: How's that wine and coffee combination treating you?
Cece: My heart is beating really fast, but time is moving really slow, so it all kind of evens out.

Nick: [sings] Goodnight, sweetheart, well, my friends are liars
Schmidt: [sings] We were just trying To help you write...
Winston: Guys, you see what we're doing? We're doing Three Men and a Baby.
Schmidt: Winston, you cannot do a movie.
Nick: Can't do a movie.
Winston: Yes, you can. You can do any movie except for a documentary, because those already happened.

Winston: Oh, hell yeah. Hey, what's up, guys? What are you doing here? Check this out. Look what I found. Three Men and a Little Box Set. The lady and the baby. I got to watch this.
Jess: Winston.
Winston: Hmm?
Jess: How long have you been here?
Winston: Not long, like, three, four, five hours. Something like that.
Nick: You don't live here, man.
Winston: I'm doing a slow move.

Winston: Oh, man, she's so lucky to have three dads. [Nick enters] Hey, have you seen this?
Nick: Come on, man.
Winston: These three goofballs just hid heroin in the baby's diaper disposal. What a ride!

Winston: Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you guys seeing this? I just thought of it just now. Three Men and a Little Lady. One, two, three. We should do this movie with Ruth.
Schmidt: Winston, you cannot do a movie. What is that goon Guttenberg painting on the walls? Words sound weird to me when I'm this tired. That ever happen to you? Like, Gu-Guttenberg. Gu...
Winston: Gu...
Nick: Gu... Enough, guys!
Schmidt: Gu'enberg.

Nick: That's what I'm saying... I don't have the answer. I mean, Pepperwood was all that I had. Now I've got nothing. I feel like I'm, like, a wood-maker who can't make any, um...
Schmidt & Winston: Wood.
Nick: See, I don't have anything! I knew it! I got nothing!

Winston: Nick, you have a ton of ideas, okay? A lot of i... ...idea notebooks.
Nick: I don't want to hear this.
Winston: Here we go. Oh, never mind, that's a maze you drew. Yeah, you drew a maze... then couldn't solve it. You went straight for the wall.
Nick: It was a hard maze.
Schmidt: This one is just a list of words that rhyme with "moon." But then right away, it's "bun." "Moon, spoon, loon, bun"? The heck is this?
Nick: There was no other words that rhymed with "moon."
Winston: "Tune"?
Nick: That's what I'm saying. I don't have a... Pepperwood was all that I had. I've got nothing.

Winston: Okay. Here we go. "All reactionaries are paper tigers. In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, but, in reality, they are not so powerful."
Schmidt: That really grabs you.
Winston: Yeah.
Schmidt: What is that?
Winston: It's, uh... Mao's Little Red Book.
Schmidt: The Chinese communist manifesto?
Winston: Yes.
Schmidt: Read that again.
Winston: "All reactionaries are paper tigers..."