Jess Quote #794
Santa: Looks like somebody's not so merry.
Jess: Come on. Are you...? [chuckles softly] Okay, um... that's silly. I really want this to be true.
Santa: What seems to be troubling you?
Jess: I just found out that my boyfriend is... is really rich, and there's no way his parents are gonna like me, and he's... Well, have you ever thought that the world is just full of sloths, and then one day, this beautiful lion walks in? Actually, you've probably never thought that way, Santa. Can I just go ahead and call you Santa? Anyway, should I just bail on this trip?
Santa: Hmm, sounds complicated. Why don't you come with me to the family bathroom, sit on my lap, and I'll give you the sleigh ride you'll never forget?
Jess: What? Santa!
Santa: North Pole. Player for life.
Barry: Get out of here! Pervert Santa! No cookies for you here, you white-bearded freak!
New Girl Quotes
‘LAXMas’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Cece: Okay.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.
Quote from Winston
Nick: You better learn how to ride a polo horse.
Winston: It's actually a polio horse. Uh, originally they were bred as helper horses for people with polio, but I don't think anything of what I just said was correct, so...
Quote from Nick
Nick: Why we should've taken trains. The sky's too fickle. It's the play place for butterflies.