Jess: Wait. What are we watching right now? That girl just took her boobs out! Nick, why are you watching smut?
Nick: It was already in the DVD player. I didn't want to get up and get it.
Winston: Schmidt, are you sitting on my pillow?
Jess: Who leaves porn in the DVD?
Schmidt: What's it doing out here in the first place?
Nick: The only thing we use it for. Might as well just leave it in.
Winston: I'm sleeping on the couch. Furguson and I are fighting.
Schmidt: Why is that pillow wet?
Nick: It's a good story. Let's just watch and see what happens.

Jess: What are you smiling at?
Coach: Nothing.
Jess: For crying out loud, take this soft-core off the TV right now.
Schmidt: Why is this pillow wet?
Winston: Furguson...
Nick: Jess, I have to see how the story ends.
Jess: There isn't any plot!
Nick: This is the wrong time to stop this, trust me.
Schmidt: Get you and your wet pillow and your big old legs out of here.