‘Neighbors’
Season 2, Episode 4 - Aired October 9, 2012
Jess starts hanging out with a group of younger neighbors in the building. Meanwhile, Nick pulls an endless series of pranks on Schmidt.
Quote from Nick
Jess: Holy crap. I need a real job.
Nick: Yeah, you do.
Jess: Don't you ever prank me!
Nick: Of course. You got it. [quietly] You'll never see it coming.
Jess: This is like the end of a horror movie.
Nick: Or the beginning of a pranking movie.
Jess: There are no pranking movies.
Nick: Yet. Get out of here. [whispers] You'll never see it coming.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hi, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Is that you in tailored, grown-up clothing?
Jess: Yeah. Mama's gonna ride this blazer all the way to a tutoring job.
Schmidt: Thank goodness. I almost thought I was gonna have to loan you money.
Jess: Well, I said tutoring job, not venture capitalist.
Schmidt: Proud of you nonetheless.
Jess: Thanks.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Ha! I'm gonna hit your ass with a ski!
Schmidt: Winston?
Winston: Get some.
Quote from Winston
Winston: I got an idea. Instead of urine, we use acid. And put it on his face! [laughs] All right?