Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #372
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk on Wheels
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you got a minute?
Adrian Monk: Do I have a minute? I'm in a wheelchair.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, I know that this is tough, but this is tough on Natalie too. You see this guy here? That's the guy that shot you. The guy in the body bag. And you're madder at her than you are at him.
Adrian Monk: She hasn't said anything.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Of course she hasn't said anything. She blames herself for what happened. She... Look, I know you caught a bad break. I'm sorry you're in pain. Sorry you're miserable. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. But you can't keep taking everything out on her. Listen, Detective Monk, be very careful, because you're that close from losing that girl. Ask me how I know.
Adrian Monk: How do you know?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because you're acting like me.
‘Mr. Monk on Wheels’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: Ah, tough guy, eh? Look at this. See that? That's a bullet. That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
Lieutenant Disher: That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: Former what?
Lieutenant Disher: Former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: You mean he used to shoot cops?
Lieutenant Disher: No, he shot someone who used to be a cop.
Vince Kuramoto: Why didn't you say that?
Lieutenant Disher: I did. It's the same thing.
Vince Kuramoto: It's not the same thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for god's sake, what are you two married, or what?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Natalie, look at this thing. We've got nature on the run. Finally. Look at that. Look! It's the perfect sandwich! Perfect! There's no overlap. There's no waste. Four 90 degree angles. This will virtually eliminate indigestion.
Natalie: Are you going to help me, or not?
Adrian Monk: You can taste the symmetry!
Natalie: Please!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, I can't run around looking for a stolen bicycle. I still have some pride left. Not much. But my dignity tank isn't completely empty.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, don't talk like that. You're going to be just fine.
Dr. Levinson: Somebody's up. Hello, good evening. I'm Dr. Levinson. And you are a very lucky man.
Adrian Monk: Is she talking to me?
Dr. Levinson: A few inches over, the bullet would have severed your femoral artery. I'd say that's lucky.
Adrian Monk: You know who I think is lucky? Everybody else in this room. The unshot people. The great unshot. The lead-free. Bulletless.
Natalie: When can I take him home?
Dr. Levinson: Maybe tomorrow if he's up to it. Are you a fighter, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: [whines] No.