Lieutenant Disher Quote #43
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny
Captain Stottlemeyer: Tell me about the chair, Mr. Maloney.
Harold Maloney: I'd be happy to. It is a Fanback Windsor in original finish, built in 1774. Dealers like us wait our whole lives for a piece like this.
Carol Maloney: Note the engraving on the back in the shape of Monticello.
Harold Maloney: This chair was personally handcrafted by Thomas Jefferson. In fact, there is some evidence to support the fact that he sat in this very chair while he drafted the Declaration of Independence.
Lieutenant Disher: Does it swivel?
Captain Stottlemeyer: How much is it worth?
Carol Maloney: Two. Maybe 2.5.
Lieutenant Disher: Million?
Harold Maloney: [scoffs] Yes, Lieutenant, million.
‘Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: All right. Maybe it wasn't you. Maybe it was some of your old playmates trying to relive their glory days.
Adrian Monk: Maybe they missed the buzz. You look familiar, Ronnie. Didn't I see you last week at the opera?
Ron Abrash: The opera? What have you been smoking, man?
Adrian Monk: I've been smoking the truth, man!
Ron Abrash: What are you guys doing good cop, crazy cop?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, listen to me. Listen. I think that you you failed that test on purpose. You- You don't want to get your badge back on a technicality, right? You want to earn it. You will. Adrian, you will. You'll... You're gonna be a great cop again. You're gonna do it the right way, and I respect you for that. Now, open the door. Monk! Open that damn door! I'm gonna give you until three.
Adrian Monk: [o.s.] A.M. or P.M.?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not three o'clock, you fool!
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Julie: Excuse me. Captain Stottlemeyer? Hello. I'm Julie Parlo. Uh, where is the F.B.I.? This is a kidnapping. I happen to be a lawyer, so I know in a kidnapping situation the F.B.I. has jurisprudence.
Lieutenant Disher: That's only true if your grandmother's been taken across the state lines.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or if she's been held for more than 24 hours.
Julie: And I think you meant to say "jurisdiction," right? What kind of lawyer are you?
Julie: Oh, uh, I never said I was a lawyer.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, you did.
Julie: I-I'm a law student at Garland College, and I know that I have certain rights. And if you don't do everything you can to get my grandmother back, I could sue you all for malpractice.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can't.
Julie: I-I can't?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.