Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #100
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny
Julie: Excuse me. Captain Stottlemeyer? Hello. I'm Julie Parlo. Uh, where is the F.B.I.? This is a kidnapping. I happen to be a lawyer, so I know in a kidnapping situation the F.B.I. has jurisprudence.
Lieutenant Disher: That's only true if your grandmother's been taken across the state lines.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or if she's been held for more than 24 hours.
Julie: And I think you meant to say "jurisdiction," right? What kind of lawyer are you?
Julie: Oh, uh, I never said I was a lawyer.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, you did.
Julie: I-I'm a law student at Garland College, and I know that I have certain rights. And if you don't do everything you can to get my grandmother back, I could sue you all for malpractice.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can't.
Julie: I-I can't?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
‘Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: All right. Maybe it wasn't you. Maybe it was some of your old playmates trying to relive their glory days.
Adrian Monk: Maybe they missed the buzz. You look familiar, Ronnie. Didn't I see you last week at the opera?
Ron Abrash: The opera? What have you been smoking, man?
Adrian Monk: I've been smoking the truth, man!
Ron Abrash: What are you guys doing good cop, crazy cop?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, listen to me. Listen. I think that you you failed that test on purpose. You- You don't want to get your badge back on a technicality, right? You want to earn it. You will. Adrian, you will. You'll... You're gonna be a great cop again. You're gonna do it the right way, and I respect you for that. Now, open the door. Monk! Open that damn door! I'm gonna give you until three.
Adrian Monk: [o.s.] A.M. or P.M.?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not three o'clock, you fool!
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Captain, I don't think it was him or anybody in his group. You heard him. Each of those three jags means something. Any real member of the Brigade would have known that. But look look what was painted on Mrs. Parlo's wall. Two jags.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How'd you know he had a tattoo on his arm?
Adrian Monk: Oh, uh, I didn't. His other sleeve was rolled up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It wasn't even.
Adrian Monk: Exactly.