Adrian Monk Quote #1966
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Is on the Run (Part Two)
Carlos: Hey, Sherlock Holmes, you know how to lock up, right? Make sure you put the rags in the washing machine. Don't clean the washing machine. Just put the rags in the washing machine, understand? See you manana.
Adrian Monk: Hola, senorita. Hola.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I know it's you.
Adrian Monk: What's with the wipe? Why would I need a-
Natalie: Oh, God. God. Why didn't you tell me?
Adrian Monk: To protect you. I thought Rollins might be watching you.
Natalie: Oh, that's ridiculous. Why would Rollins-
Sheriff Rollins: Adrian, don't move a muscle. Show me your hands. You too, miss Teeger. You are knee-deep in it now, buddy.
Natalie: You're the one that's in trouble. We know all about how you set Mr. Monk up and switched the gun barrels. If anybody's going to prison, it is you.
Adrian Monk: Thanks for stopping by, Natalie.
Sheriff Rollins: Let me tell you about the real world, Natalie. It's never about what happened. It's always, can you prove what happened? All right, Adrian, we've done this before. On the ground, face down. [Adrian kicks a canister towards Rollins] What was that?
Adrian Monk: It was supposed to... It was supposed to go faster.
‘Mr. Monk Is on the Run (Part Two)’ Quotes
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Natalie: I have to talk to you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, what are you doing?
Natalie: Is this him? It's him, isn't it? He's the "Car Wash Columbo."
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Car Wash Columbo". Uh, Reginald, we need to take a break.
Reginald: Cool, I'll wait outside.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nice try, kid. Jackson, could you baby-sit my young friend here for a minute? Go on.
Natalie: It's him, isn't it? [off Stottlemeyer's look] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [hitting Stottlemeyer] Why didn't you tell me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. I am so sorry.
Natalie: You're sorry?! But how?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Bulletproof vest. We couldn't tell anybody. "Leland Rodriguez"?
Natalie: That's his name.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that's just stupid.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Dale Biederbeck: What did you win, Monk? Nothing! We're both back where we started.
Adrian Monk: Not exactly. The police in Dourados found something in Frank Nunn's apartment. Some old letters. He talked about killing Trudy. He mentioned the man who hired him.
Dale Biederbeck: You have a name!
Adrian Monk: Yeah, not quite. Nunn called him "The Judge."
Dale Biederbeck: The Judge. I can't help you, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Can't or won't?
Dale Biederbeck: A little lead. How exciting. That should keep you off the street for a while.
Adrian Monk: The important thing is that you're off the street.
Dale Biederbeck: [laughs] You really think these bars can hold me?
Adrian Monk: [kicks the bars] Yeah. They seem pretty strong. Have a good life, Dale.
Dale Biederbeck: It's true, Adrian Monk! I'm in prison, but you're in a worse prison! You're trapped! Trapped by your own demons! You're in your own private hell! I wouldn't trade places with you for a billion dollars! I mean, another billion dollars! You hear me? Come back here! I'm not done!
Adrian Monk: Yes, you are.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: And so these are gonna go to his brother Ambrose's house, and those will go to my garage.
Moving Guy: All these books. What was he, a professor?
Natalie: No, a detective. An amazing detective. He could look at a room or a person and see things that nobody else could see.
Moving Guy: Like the car wash guy.
Natalie: Yeah. What car wash guy?
Moving Guy: The guy in Nevada. I was just reading about him. Here. It's in today's paper. They call him the "Car Wash Columbo." He solved a big hit-and-run case single-handedly. Yeah. Sounds like a real character. His boss says it takes him a whole hour to wipe down every car. Won't even use the same rag twice.
Natalie: Can I see that?
Moving Guy: Yeah.
Natalie: There's no picture.
Moving Guy: I guess he's modest too.
Natalie: "Leland Rodriguez." His name is Leland?