Lt. Plato: This case is even stranger than the one last year.
Sharona: Oh, what happened last year?
Capt. Alameda: Another unusual death. An American student was mauled by a wild lion.
Adrian Monk: A wild lion?
Sharona: What, did he escape from the circus?
Capt. Alameda: That was the puzzle. There was no circus.
Adrian Monk: A wild lion in Mexico?
Dr. Madero: It was definitely a lion. I did the autopsy myself.
Capt. Alameda: It was drug-related, somehow. I am sure of it.
Lt. Plato: I am sure you're right.
Dr. Madero: I wish you had been here for that case, senor Monk.

Adrian Monk: [coughing]
Dr. Madero: Are you all right?
Adrian Monk: Uh, I'm just a little thirsty. Do you have any bottled water?
Dr. Madero: Oh, yes. I have Perrier.
Adrian Monk: No, thank you. I'm fine.

T.J. Hey, you're hot. You wanna, you know, go upstairs?
Sharona: I'd rather chew glass.

Adrian Monk: This is insane. No, forget it. We'll just call Captain Alameda.
Sharona: It's a piece of cake.
Adrian Monk: Sharona, I don't drink.
Sharona: Don't worry about it. I do.

[As Sharona's frat-boy competitors chug their beer, Monk slowly fills up a cup from a pitcher:]
Sharona: What are you doing? It's a race!
Adrian Monk: One second. You'll thank me later.
Sharona: Give it to me. Give it to me!

Sharona: [after winning the drinking game] Four years of Catholic high school! Fork it over.

Sharona: Adrian, why don't you go back to the hotel. Vacuum or something. I'll stay here for a while.

Adrian Monk: I've been asking around about the key. The concierge says it might fit a locker at the bus station. You want to go check it out with me?
Sharona: You mean now?
Adrian Monk: I'm afraid they're gonna clean out the locker. We'll lose whatever's in there.
Sharona: I think what I'd rather do is die.
Adrian Monk: Okay. So I'll just go out alone then. Without you. By myself.

Capt. Alameda: Which makes me think for once we have a case that may not involve drugs. I have a theory.
Sharona: What is it?
Capt. Alameda: The boy, Chip Rosatti, drowned at the resort in the swimming pool. It was an accident. The resort owner panicked. He couldn't afford all the bad publicity or a lawsuit. So, to cover up, he arranged for the boy's body to be put on an airplane and made it look like a parachuting accident.
Sharona: But his friends talked to him just before he jumped.
Capt. Alameda: They were obviously paid off.
Sharona: But the pilot swore he was alive.
Capt. Alameda: Then he was paid off as well. What do you think, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: I'm... I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

Sharona: Adrian! Adrian! Look at this!
Adrian Monk: What is it?
Sharona: Hydroxyzine. That means he was allergic to chlorine. He never would have gone swimming.
Adrian Monk: I don't care. I'm just so damn thirsty.