Sharona: Adrian!
Lt. Plato: Senor Monk.
Adrian Monk: That officer outside told me I was dead. I'm not dead, am I?
Sharona: You're not dead.
Adrian Monk: I didn't think so. I am so thirsty. I found this in the locker. It's Chip Rosatti's. [whimpers] I'm so thirsty.

Sharona: Can we go now?
Adrian Monk: Absolutely.
Sharona: The letter's mailed. It can't get any more mailed. Now what?
Adrian Monk: It's almost 9:00. That's the next pickup.
Sharona: You're gonna wait for the mailman?
Adrian Monk: I just want to make sure he doesn't drop anything.
Sharona: You're lucky I get paid by the hour, I'm telling you.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, the mayor needs your help again. He's got a friend whose kid was killed down in Mexico. Kid named Chip Rosatti.
Sharona: What happened?
Lieutenant Disher: Skydiving accident.
Adrian Monk: His chute didn't open?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, he drowned.
Sharona: Did he land in the ocean?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Look. Apparently, the kid jumped out of an airplane, and he drowned in midair.
Adrian Monk: That doesn't make a lot of sense. Hardly any, really.

Sharona: Hey, we can use a vacation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, look, I know how you hate to fly, so you're gonna have to drive. And it's a long way to San Macros. You're gonna have to leave immediately.
Adrian Monk: Mexico. I can't I can't go to Mexico.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why not?
Adrian Monk: It's not... here.

Mexican Border Agent: Are you opening a restaurant here, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: No, I'm not opening a restaurant.
Sharona: He's kind of particular.
Mexican Border Agent: We have bottled water in Mexico, senor Monk. Many fine brands.
Sharona: Well, all he drinks is Sierra Springs.

Sharona: Oh, well, thank you for inviting us.
Capt. Alameda: We didn't invite you. In fact, you are wasting your time. We are going to be making an arrest on this case very soon.
Adrian Monk: You have a suspect?
Capt. Alameda: Not yet. But we have a theory.
Adrian Monk: What's that?
Capt. Alameda: Drugs.
Adrian Monk: Drugs?
Lt. Plato: It's always about the drugs.
Sharona: Well, his parents swore he was clean. Uh, the most he ever had were a couple of beers.
Adrian Monk: Captain, how do you explain the cause of death? He drowned in midair?
Capt. Alameda: I don't know. I admit, it sounds baffling. But at the end of the day, you will see, it was drugs.

Adrian Monk: It doesn't really make any sense, does it? Nineteen years old, comes down for spring break, wins a free skydiving lesson, goes up in the plane and drowns.
Capt. Alameda: Drugs. Somehow, drugs.
Lt. Plato: It is always the drugs.

Hector: Senor Monk is in here. Senorita, you are in the next room. There is a connecting door.
Sharona: Well, it locks, right? There's a lock on the door? How do you say "lock"?
Hector: La cerradura. Si, there is a lock.

Adrian Monk: Is there a problem?
Hector: Uh, si. Your bags. They have been stolen from your car. You must have left it unlocked.
Sharona: Oh, my God.
Adrian Monk: Our bags? All of them?
Hector: I'm afraid so.
Adrian Monk: These were 18 of them! That was only five minutes. It would take a small army and a U-Haul truck to do that.

Capt. Alameda: My goodness, senor Monk. You are lucky to be alive. Did you get the license number of the truck?
Adrian Monk: No.
Capt. Alameda: He was probably drunk. He lost control of the vehicle.
Sharona: He wasn't drunk! He tried to kill him.
Capt. Alameda: Why would anyone in San Macros want to hurt senor Monk? Do you have any enemies here?
Adrian Monk: No, not here.
Capt. Alameda: So, I am right a drunk driver.
Lt. Plato: Or maybe it was the drugs.
Capt. Alameda: We'll find him.