‘The Long Honeymoon’
Season 6, Episode 1 - Aired September 24, 2014
The blissful peace at the Dunphy house is broken when Alex returns from a humanitarian trip from hell. Three months after their wedding, Mitchell feels Cameron is keeping the honeymoon going a little too long. Meanwhile, Gloria accuses Jay of not making an effort with his appearance.
Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Oh, Cam, come on! Even you have to admit this is excessive.
Cameron: Excessive? Really?
[Lily shoots Mitchell with a red arrow]
Lily: Struck by cupid's magic arrow.
Cameron: It's off, Lily.
Lily: Seriously? Two hours rehearsing with Rosa?
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Cam, what is going on with you?
Cameron: We just had the most romantic year ever, planning our ceremony, the wedding, the honeymoon, and I'm just worried if we let this go, we'll never get it back.
Mitchell: Well, that doesn't all just end.
Cameron: It did once. You know, the first two years we were together, we were insanely romantic. Then it became about parenting a-and working. And this last year, we got that back, and I just realized I've dropped the ball.
Mitchell: Oh, no. Well, m-maybe you -- you shouldn't be the only one carrying the ball. What if you did a give-off to me?
Cameron: A hand-off.
Quote from Phil
Alex: Why is your webcam on? Are you trying to humiliate me?
Haley: That light means it's on? It doesn't automatically turn off when you go to a different web page?
Alex: No, and considering you keep your laptop on your bed, right by where you change, and when you come out of the shower, and who knows what else...
Luke: Everyone knows what else! It's probably why you have 50,000 subscribers.
Phil: Hey! You should be ashamed of yourselves! [closes laptop]
Alex: Yeah, yeah. Still not off.
Quote from Alex
Claire: I tried to start that stupid "War and Peace" again last night in the bathtub, but then I fell asleep. It dropped in the water and I thought I would just dry it out.
Phil: Take cover! Take cover!
Claire: Okay! Okay! Oh, God!
Phil: Damn this thing!
Alex: Did nobody notice the oven light?! Lights mean things, people!
Quote from Alex
Phil: Look, you can leave if you want to, sweetheart, but we're not letting you go without a smile on your face. Luke and I poured a lot of love into this pie, so, here... Taste this. Taste our love.
Alex: You took the leaves off the rhubarb, right?
Phil: Um.
Alex: They're incredibly poisonous. You all could die.
Phil: No! Alex says they're poison!
Haley: We're right here! We heard her!
Quote from Lily
All: Surprise!
Gloria: Aah! [covers herself and runs off]
Lily: Just a thought. Maybe we should stop doing these.