Alex Quote #358
Alex: Enough! This is terrible! I don't know why any of you people think this is funny! You may think these are jokes, but it's way too real. We need to respect Grandpa instead of cutting him down. None of us really knows how much time he has left. Do you really want these to be the last words he hears?
Jay: Well, now I feel like hell.
Alex: And that's how you roast! Bam! [laughter and applause]
Quote from Manny
Jay: This is from me and the boys. Gloria got you her own gift.
Claire: Wow, this is wrapped so nicely!
Manny: I did that. It's a lost art in this modern age where people simply click and ship gifts over the Internet.
Gloria: Papi, just be normal.
Quote from Phil
Phil: I've thought a lot about what's next.
Phil: Thank you, buddy. And it's important that I continue to grow and that I stay mentally challenged. Which is why I am starting...piano lessons, so that by next year's birthday, I'll be good enough to perform in public.
Jay: Oh, great. Another thing to go to.
Phil: Also, I'm gonna learn how to speak Spanish.
Phil: Uh, I... I haven't started yet.
Quote from En Garde
Haley: No! No, no, no, no, no! Phone died!
Alex: No biggie. Your battery probably just statically defracticated.
Alex: It means you can recharge it with static electricity. Just rub it on your hair.
Quote from Baby on Board
Michael: You look flawless.
Michael: Did I not say coral was the color for you? Look what it does for your skin. Hi!
Phil: Hi, buddy.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn't know it yet, so I'm basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.