Luke Quote #426
Luke: Uh, no Velcro. Our brand is a little more upscale. Uh-oh. Another buyer is tired of seeing the same feet.
Alex: Oh, it's my fault now? What's he doing to keep things interesting? Why do I care?
[cut to Alex shaving Luke's legs in the bathroom:]
Alex: I'm surprised you were open to this.
Luke: I'm surprised you know how to do this. Don't forget, we have to get over to mom's work to ship shoes later.
Alex: Wait a second, you're using Mom's FedEx?
Luke: Every time she and Dad have a fancy night out, she uses the hashtag "Luke's college fund." So, yeah, I'm using her account.
Quote from Luke
Alex: Explain yourself.
Luke: I'm taking photos of your feet for perverts.
Luke: Hear me out. Remember when you couldn't return those sneakers you bought and asked me to sell them online? Right after I listed them, I got a message asking if they'd been worn and sweat in. Before I could lie and say no, I got another message. "Can I see your feet?" Apparently, there are a ton of these feet freaks on the Internet.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Personally, I don't believe in any of that evil-spirit mumbo jumbo. As a magician, I've learned that every spooky happening has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Even the eeriest of illusions, Satan's Elevator, is really just two mirrors and a tiny... Nice try.
Quote from Up All Night
[asides to camera:]
Alex: What's the most irritating thing my parents say to me?
Manny: "That's too much cologne."
Haley: "That's how girls end up dead."
Luke: "Don't talk black to me."
Manny: "It's inappropriate because she's your teacher."
Luke: "How do you even talk black? End words with 'izzle'"?
Alex: [o.s.] It's "talk back," you idiot.
Quote from Starry Night
Luke: Why did he paint The Starry Night? Maybe because the sky is beautiful, and everybody likes looking at it, and it reminds us that something's up there watching over all of us- Aliens, who could be here in a second to liquefy us and use us as fuel. So wake up, people. We're next.
Alex: Mom! You better get down here!