Phil Quote #1543
Phil: [aside to camera] Personally, I don't believe in any of that evil-spirit mumbo jumbo. As a magician, I've learned that every spooky happening has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Even the eeriest of illusions, Satan's Elevator, is really just two mirrors and a tiny... Nice try.
Quote from Luke
Alex: Explain yourself.
Luke: I'm taking photos of your feet for perverts.
Luke: Hear me out. Remember when you couldn't return those sneakers you bought and asked me to sell them online? Right after I listed them, I got a message asking if they'd been worn and sweat in. Before I could lie and say no, I got another message. "Can I see your feet?" Apparently, there are a ton of these feet freaks on the Internet.
Quote from Gloria
Phil: Oh, this is Gloria. She'll be addressing your concerns.
Mrs. Graham: Nice to meet you. I instantly trust you. Why is that? Oh, I got it. We were once cats together. I joke! I'm not that crazy. [Phil laughs nervously] Now, tell me about the ghost.
Gloria: Well, in these suburban cases, it's usually a low-level haunting, like a dead unpaid gardener, a dead jealous boyfriend, a dead dog who left something unfetched.
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.
Quote from En Garde
Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot