Haley Quote #41
Alex: What's going on?
Phil: I'll tell you what's going on. I win. Nobody gets a car, I dump Tom Brady and our long Amish nightmare is over.
Claire: I can't believe you thought you were gonna put one over on us.
Haley: I can't believe that he's actually already on the Internet.
Phil: Believe it, girl.
Haley: So you're actually online right now?
Phil: Yep.
Haley: Well, then I hate to break it to you, Daddy but you lose. [laughing]
Phil: What?
Haley: This isn't my phone. I carved it out of a bar of soap and colored it in with a marker.
Claire: Phil, she carved a telephone out of a bar of soap.
Haley: I can't believe that I'm getting a car!
Phil: Holy crap. We've been Shawshanked.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Unplugged’ Quotes
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: We have got to get her into school, or else she's gonna fall behind.
Cameron: Don't you think I know that?
Mitchell: This is perfect. Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.