Gloria: [aside to camera] What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before High School. He used to go around in his poncho, play the pan flute. Ay, I miss my little old Manny.

Claire: Do you girls have to move that now?
Haley: Well, I've been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company!
Alex: Ugh, your daughter's a parakeet.

Phil: I can't believe it. I'm a one-termer? That puts me alongside Henry Eustace Tyler and Art Wagner!
Gil Thorpe: Never met Art Wagner.
Phil: They took away his realtor's license after Gategate.