Manny: You two need each other. It's what drives you.
Earl: The kid is right. Beating you is half the reason I get out of bed. Locking horns. We made each other better than I ever thought we could be.
Jay: Pushed each other to greatness.
Earl: We touched the sky.
Manny: We're talking about closets here, right?
Jay: Oh, I'm sorry, you mean the sanctuary where a man dons his armor in the morning and takes stock of the battle at night?!
Earl: The one thing we all have in common; presidents to postmen, tycoons to teachers, from sea to shining sea!
Manny: This is taking a weird turn.

Jay: [aside to camera] David Soul played Hutch in "Starsky and Hutch." Now, one of my groovier closet ideas was a hutch for your skis that latched onto the end of your closet. I called it the "Storeski End Hutch." David Soul gave me a signed picture. Well, one day, the picture disappears and Earl plays innocent. But the whole time, he's had it. Ironically, this would've been a great episode in "Starsky and Hutch."

Luke: Hey, handsome. Uh, can you sign this? You don't need to read it.
Phil: Never do!
Luke: Right there.
Phil: Oh. Quick. Nature's sure-fire sunburn remedy? [answering phone] Aloe?

Cameron: Okay, I know, but it just hurts, Mitchell. It's the first one of our things that she's outgrown.
Mitchell: Well, you know, but isn't it great that we've raised her to have opinions and interests of her own?
Cameron: But this early? She's still so daggum young.
Mitchell: Okay, is that another Southern thing, or are you just trying to remember her Vietnamese name?

Cameron: Well, I should've seen this coming. I replaced her with somebody younger, and she sabotaged Joe's shoot out of sheer jealousy. Maybe she does have what it takes to be a model.