‘Phil on Wire’
Season 3, Episode 3 - Aired September 28, 2011
Gloria is annoyed by how close Jay is getting to their dog, Stella. As Phil attempts to tightrope across the front yard. Claire chooses to teach the girls a life lesson but doesn't set the best example. Meanwhile, Mitchell joins Cameron in starting a juice fast.
Quote from Phil
Luke: I'm really sorry, Dad.
Phil: Oh, it's all right. Everybody throws up at school. If I had a nickel for every time I puked at school, you know how much money I'd have?
Luke: Thirty-five cents.
Phil: Exactly. Now go get cleaned up, and I'll call the doctor.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [on the phone] Uh, a cup of soup, a Cobb salad. Yeah, it had bacon. Cam, I don't have all day to describe all my meals to you. [to Stella] Stop eating all my things, you stupid animal. No, Cam, not you. I'll call you back.