‘Open House of Horrors’
Season 4, Episode 5 - Aired October 24, 2012
After overdoing Halloween the previous year, Claire is forced to tone it down and keep it family-friendly. Phil decides to hold on an open house on the spookiest night of the year. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron host a costume party which prompts an awkward question from Lily about who her real mother is, and Gloria has a shorter fuse than usual.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Okay, Claire, they're gone. You can come out now. Claire? Honey, I'm sorry I said you weren't scary. It's been such a long day. Can we please just go home? [wind whistles, loud clicking] All right. I'm leaving without ya. [TV turns on] So this remote you know how to use.
Quote from Manny
Jay: Hey, you never told me if you hit those kids with that egg.
Gloria: They blended into the crowd, but there was a slow one with them. He couldn't run so fast, and I nailed him pretty good.
[cut to:]
Reuben: I warned you.
Manny: Okay, Reuben.
Reuben: Where are your cool friends now? Not q-tipping your ear, that's for sure.
Manny: Okay, Reuben.
Reuben: This is why I never hang out with cool kids.
Manny: Yeah, you rejected them, shortly after you and your mom roller danced at the talent show.
Reuben: [scoffs] Oh, we were robbed.
Manny: Couldn't have been the song you picked. "Wing beneath my w--" Ow!
Quote from Manny
Reuben: [dressed as Angels player] Be strong, Manny.
Luke: [dressed as the devil] Be smart. Adventures, parties.
Reuben: Juvie, heartache.
Luke: Girls!
Reuben: But not the kind we want.
Manny: They're all the kind we want.