Phil: My stomach feels weird.
Claire: You're probably just nervous. Ooh, maybe you need someone to come with you.
Phil: No, he's there to buy a house, not talk about music, which is why I'm not even gonna mention that I'm a songwriter, too.
Claire: Oh, you wrote one song.
Phil: I said everything I had to say.
Claire: About a realtor.
Phil: It was about life! This is why they mock you at book club.

Jay: [aside to camera] Oh, here's a brush with celebrity I can actually talk about. Last summer, I was called upon to participate in the most American of traditions: getting out of jury duty.

Jay: [aside to camera] Terry Bradshaw. I love Terry Bradshaw!
[flashback:]
Judge: Juror 11, is there anything that might prevent you from serving effectively on this jury?
Terry Bradshaw: No scheduling conflicts, Your Honor. However, I am going through kind of a rough patch right now. You see, I lost my best friend.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Or did he just find one?
[back:]
Terry Bradshaw: But I'm happy to serve. I believe in the American legal system, and I believe it's all about teamwork.
Jay: [claps] That's a touchdown of an answer, champ. Uh, this lady here put me down for that. Are you ready for some justice?

Jay: You? Hey, this robbery case, huh? Now, I know we don't have all the facts yet, but I think it might be hard for me to lock up a "Steeler." [Terry Bradshaw laughs] I try to keep it light.

Jay: In the '70s, it was a better game. You guys did everything offense, defense. Didn't I see you mow the field one night before the game?
Terry Bradshaw: You know, that's how I made my money?
Jay: [laughs] I can't actually believe that I'm having lunch with Terry Bradshaw. I mean, from football fame to country music stardom to big-screen idol.
Terry Bradshaw: "Smokey and the Bandit II." Now that was a challenge. To play yourself, that can be kind of tricky.
Jay: I thought you stole the movie.

Terry Bradshaw: You're too kind. You know, not everything I touch turns to gold. I mean, I've had my share of missteps along the way.
Jay: [laughs] Well, right, like "Failure to Launch," right?
Terry Bradshaw: Sorry?
Jay: You should be. I mean, that thing was a real stinker.
Terry Bradshaw: I happen to be proud of that movie. I mean, that's some of the best work I've ever done.
Jay: No, you were good, yeah. But, I mean, don't worry about it. Nobody saw it.
Terry Bradshaw: Yeah, well. Guess it's about time we get on back in, huh?
Jay: Same time tomorrow. Hey, I'm wide open. Like in football.

Jay: Terry, can we talk? Please don't shut me out. I know I messed up, and I'm so sorry for my failure at lunch.

Bailiff: Sir, you have to leave now.
Jay: Fine. I'm going. [to Terry Bradshaw] I'll be waiting in the parking lot, buddy.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Judge hit me with a restraining order. But Terry had to sign it.

Chris Martin: And it's a nightmare. It's beginning to affect my creativity. The last song I wrote was about my helicopter. I was too ashamed to release it. I had to sell it to Quantas for $1 million.
Claire: Your problems are so sanguine.
Chris Martin: Is that how you use that word?
Claire: Nobody knows.

Joe: [aside to camera] I saw Santa Claus at the mall.