Dennis: Congratulations, Hal. Sorry about my little outburst there at the end. But they really should say "Innocent" instead of "Not guilty." It's confusing.
Hal: Lois, we won the case. Now we can get our lives back to the way they were.
Lois: You didn't work on Fridays?! After all the sacrifices I made for this family. For 15 years I worked double shifts, drove carpool, cleaned the house while you were feeding Shamu!
Hal: Actually, it's Keiko 2. He's smaller, but you get just as wet in the front row. It's a really good show. [Lois moves towards Hal] Let's... We should see it sometime.

Dennis: I wish I had better news for you, Hal, but the prosecution has 30 eyewitnesses that can all avoid going to prison themselves by fingering you.
Hal: How about my mystery guy? He's only got six months to live. He doesn't want to die with a guilty conscience. He's gonna completely exonerate me. And he's not imaginary.
Malcolm: [to camera] This is pretty much how things have been going around here lately. Dad's trial starts tomorrow, we still have no idea where Reese is, and Mom kind of had a breakdown. It's okay. She's slowly working her way back. I think her new hobby's helping her.
Lois: Oh, this one's name is Sam Gundlebumps. He grew up on a farm where he was friends with a turkey and a duck. He can't see very well, so he's always getting lost.
Piama: It'll be okay, Lois. We're gonna find Reese.
Lois: [gasps] Look, he picked flowers. He's going a-courtin'.

Mysterious Man: I was worried about what I would say when I got up here, but deep down, I knew I would have to tell the truth. There's a conspiracy going on here, and it's all been orchestrated by that man. [courtroom gasps]
Hal: Is he pointing at someone directly behind me?
[later:]
Mysterious Man: And after he shredded the last of the documents, he delivered the punch line to yet another racist joke.
Prosecutor: No further questions.
[later:]
Mysterious Man: [to Hal] Turns out I'm gonna live. They had the wrong X ray. Boy, when you've had a scare like mine, you realize what's really important... staying out of jail. Good luck.

Francis: Mom, I know you've had a rough time and that your little projects are very therapeutic for you, but Dad is in very big trouble. You have to start helping.
Lois: Honey, I know this is a crisis, and believe me, I'm doing everything I can. I spent extra money on quick-drying glue, so no matter how you shake it, the sequins won't fall off. After what happened at Compulsories, Rebecca's really got to nail her long program.

Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen, you have heard a staggering amount of evidence against the defendant. Let me clarify what we now know. Three members of the board of directors testified that the defendant submitted altered financial statements on August 9. The Senior VP of Finance heard the defendant plot to hide company assets offshore on December 6. The Chief Operations Officer saw him shredding documents in a stairwell on February 21. And on June 27, the Director of IT Services testified that the defendant showed him pictures of his new yacht which he named Above the Law. And, on July 11, you heard the Senior Analyst break down in tears as he revealed the defendant's scheme to bilk the company out of millions...
Hal: What are you doing?
Dennis: Shh. I'm awake. I'm trying to get you grounds for an appeal.

Dewey: Mom? Are you coming out for dinner?
Lois: [o.s.] I'm just taking Penelope's temperature. I think she caught Ambrosia's cold.
Dewey: Is Penelope the foreign correspondent or the candy striper?
Lois: [o.s.] No, she's just a homemaker, but a big candy company's interested in her taffy recipe.

Private James: Now you will talk or I will make your life a living hell!
Reese: You don't think I want to?! This sucks! I've been a good soldier! I shut off my brain like the Army wanted. Everyone said I was doing great, but I'm not! I have to help my squad. The guys are depending on me, but I can't! You know what? I don't care what the Army says. I'm sick of this! I'm turning my brain back on! [clenches face] Did it happen?
Private James: Did what happen?
Reese: Wait... I think it's... No, it's not. Yes, it is. Is it? Damn, I wish there was more of a difference.
Private James: Look, you can act as crazy as you'd like, 'cause I got nothing but time. And no one's coming to rescue you. Not your sergeant, not your squad, and your mama's not going to come and wipe your nose and change your diaper.
Reese: Mom. Mom. Of course. [holds his breath]

Reese: Captain, I suggest you surrender. If not, I have enough flour packed in this barrel to bake 500 cakes.
Capt. Renquist: All right, don't fire. We hereby surrender.
Reese: Ah, what the hell. [taps on the tank]

Malcolm: [to camera] Things are finally back to normal. Well, except for the fact that Reese is still missing, Mom and Dad both don't have jobs, and we're $20,000 in debt.