Otto Quote #47
Quote from Otto in Dirty Magazine
Otto: You are terrible! You have completely wasted four entire days of waltz lessons. It makes me sick to look at you.
Francis: Otto, this isn't helping. Every time you punch yourself, we lose hours of valuable practice time. You just... you got to relax.
Otto: How can I relax when Gretchen is depending on me? You do not learn by relaxing. You learn by violently assaulting your problem until it surrenders its mysteries to you!
Francis: I just feel like you're psyching yourself out. Why don't you take five and clear your head?
Otto: You take five. I shall study the videotape of our previous lessons. I will correct the problems in my technique.
[video of Otto repeatedly injuring Francis as they dance together]
Otto: Mm-hmm, perhaps more weight on my left instep.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Dirty Magazine’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Principal Block: What the hell is this?
Malcolm: It's "Car Crash." It's a story for the literary magazine.
Principal Block: It's pornography.
Malcolm: How is it pornography?
Principal Block: "The construction worker yelled out, '[bleep] my [bleep]'." "[bleep] my [bleep]"?!
Malcolm: It's supposed to be offensive. That's the whole point of the story. It's a literary device.
Principal Block: There's nothing literary about "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Parents don't want their children reading "[bleep] my [bleep]". This school district has a zero tolerance policy on "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Our forefathers did not lay down their lives on San Juan Hill for "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Now, you either kill this story or replace all the dirty words with asterisks.
Malcolm: That's just stupid. What's the point of bleeping out words? Everyone knows what they are anyway.
Quote from Stevie
Malcolm: You know, I kind of wish I did put some smut in it, though. People are gonna be disappointed.
Stevie: Don't be... so sure. "The Mysterious... Forest." Fold A... to meet B.
Malcolm: That's a picture of...!
Stevie: Thank you... Cinemax. Freedom's... a glorious... thing.
Quote from Otto
Francis: You have a week. Is there anything you know she likes?
Otto: Well, she always wished that I could learn to waltz.
Francis: Really? That's great! I know how to waltz. I learned in military school taking girls to cotillions. I can totally teach you.
Otto: Oh, no, no, no, Francis, I am a terrible dancer. I tried it at our wedding; I stepped on her foot.
Francis: You can't let a little thing...
Otto: I broke it in three places.
Francis: But...
Otto: Then I ripped her dress, and her rear end hung out for 200 people to see. Then I got into a fistfight with her father. We spent the night in jail, and, you know, he always was a little delicate-looking, and...