Stevie Quote #112
Quote from Stevie in Dirty Magazine
Malcolm: You know, I kind of wish I did put some smut in it, though. People are gonna be disappointed.
Stevie: Don't be... so sure. "The Mysterious... Forest." Fold A... to meet B.
Malcolm: That's a picture of...!
Stevie: Thank you... Cinemax. Freedom's... a glorious... thing.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Dirty Magazine’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Principal Block: What the hell is this?
Malcolm: It's "Car Crash." It's a story for the literary magazine.
Principal Block: It's pornography.
Malcolm: How is it pornography?
Principal Block: "The construction worker yelled out, '[bleep] my [bleep]'." "[bleep] my [bleep]"?!
Malcolm: It's supposed to be offensive. That's the whole point of the story. It's a literary device.
Principal Block: There's nothing literary about "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Parents don't want their children reading "[bleep] my [bleep]". This school district has a zero tolerance policy on "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Our forefathers did not lay down their lives on San Juan Hill for "[bleep] my [bleep]"! Now, you either kill this story or replace all the dirty words with asterisks.
Malcolm: That's just stupid. What's the point of bleeping out words? Everyone knows what they are anyway.
Quote from Otto
Francis: You have a week. Is there anything you know she likes?
Otto: Well, she always wished that I could learn to waltz.
Francis: Really? That's great! I know how to waltz. I learned in military school taking girls to cotillions. I can totally teach you.
Otto: Oh, no, no, no, Francis, I am a terrible dancer. I tried it at our wedding; I stepped on her foot.
Francis: You can't let a little thing...
Otto: I broke it in three places.
Francis: But...
Otto: Then I ripped her dress, and her rear end hung out for 200 people to see. Then I got into a fistfight with her father. We spent the night in jail, and, you know, he always was a little delicate-looking, and...
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: [to camera] This is The Crystal Ship. It's our high school literary magazine. Nobody reads it because it's written by high school kids trying to be deep. And the editor is just some guy who wants to pad his college application. This month, it's me.
Stevie: Did you get... "The Mysterious... Forest"?
Malcolm: Yes, Stevie. I got your drawing.
Stevie: Is it... in?
Malcolm: Yes. I told you. Nothing gets rejected. It doesn't matter how self-indulgent or boring or childish or stupid or painful it is. If it can be stapled, it's in. And why do you care? Our advisor doesn't even care.