Hal Quote #97
Quote from Hal in Halloween Approximately
Hal: This guy is a menace. Now, I've tried to get him on my own, but the truth is... it's not a job for one man. It is a community problem. And all we have to do is work together. If we all keep an eye out for this guy, I think we should be able to catch him pretty quickly.
Man: Why don't you clean up your yard?
Hal: What?
Woman #1: Why don't you just move?
Hal: Look, this isn't about me.
Man: These meetings are always about you. You are the sole reason we meet!
Woman #2: Those kids of yours should be in jail. How would you like if you scrimped and saved all your life to live in a nice neighborhood and then a bunch of Godless monsters moved in and destroyed all your dreams! [applause]
Hal: Okay, back to the subject that I'd pass around a sign-up sheet for a stake-out. [the man scrunches the paper up and throws it at Hal] Well... Thanks for your time.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Halloween Approximately’ Quotes
Quote from Francis
Reese: Couldn't you have gotten in trouble after Halloween?
Francis: Guys, I'm sorry. I know I let you down, but... I really didn't have a choice. I mean, the commandant's fake leg was just lying there in the closet begging for a novelty bumper sticker. It was a snap decision, but I really think I did the right thing.
Quote from Francis
Francis: Boys, the time has come. You're about to see the device that will change the face of Halloween forever. Behold.
Dewey: That's not a flying chocolate maker.
Reese: This is just a bunch of tubes.
Francis: Trust me.
Reese: I do trust you, but... I expected something a little more...
Malcolm: [looking at blueprint] Oh, my God. Will this work?
Francis: Absolutely.
Reese: What? What is it?
Malcolm: It looks like an incredibly powerful slingshot.
Francis: A slingshot capable of hurling objects over a distance of two city blocks. Picture yourself you're walking down the street, you're minding your own business when all of a sudden... bam! You're hit by a ten-pound balloon filled with shaving cream, paint or any number of foul-smelling liquids. And you never, ever know who did it.
Reese: It's the perfect weapon.
Malcolm: Reese, are you crying?
Reese: [emotional] No.
Quote from Malcolm
Reese: 9 days past expiration. [drinks orange juice] Ugh. Here.
Malcolm: [drinks] Ugh! It turned carbonated.
Reese: Hmm.
Malcolm: [removes cottage cheese] Expired 2 months ago.
Reese: You don't have the guts. [hands Malcolm a spoon]
Malcolm: [gags]
Reese: [retches] [removes egg nog]
Malcolm: When was the last Christmas we have Egg Nog?
Reese: I think before Dewey.
Malcolm: It's all you, man. [Reese gags as he drinks the eggnog] [to camera] This is a game that has no winners.