Lois Quote #599
Hal: So, there I was innocently paying the bills, when I was suddenly slapped in the face by a charge for $45. It took me almost an hour to sniff out your little rathole behind the refrigerator. Would you care to explain these?
Lois: Hal, I'm sorry.
Hal: Lois, we are poor! I thought we had an understanding.
Lois: I know. You're right, Hal. I just saw them in the store. And they're not real Christian Louboutins. They're just a cheap knockoff. I just wanted to try them on, just for a second. And then I saw them in the mirror, and they looked so elegant and glamorous, and I guess I just wanted for once in my life to see what it would feel like to be... pretty.
Hal: Oh, please, I invented that act!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Stilts’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: [to Malcolm] You really got to stop being such a snob. There's pride in doing anything well. I'd rather you were the best toilet scrubber in the world than a slapdash Supreme Court justice. And how about showing me a little bit gratitude? There's nothing embarrassing about working at Lucky Aide.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: Mom, what are you doing? I was in the middle of a game!
Lois: Do you want to explain why I found circled want ads sticking out of your backpack?!
Malcolm: Yes, I do.
Lois: I'm not interested! You are not finding another job!
Malcolm: Huh?
Lois: No! You are not getting a job away from my constant supervision, and that's it. I'm not going to risk your future by giving you even a second of freedom! This family has too much invested in you. Oh, cheer up. Once I find a proper wife for you, you'll have your precious space.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Oh, Dewey. I need your help. You're always skulking around, listening in on everyone's conversations. Do you have any dirt on your mom? I need something really big and awful. I did something bad, so I have to find something that she did bad, then I can confess what I did, and it won't seem like such a big deal.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad, but I don't just stash away information...
Hal: Stash? You found the stash? You and me partners. We cut everyone else out.
Dewey: No! No! I didn't find the stash!
Hal: Okay, okay. Are you sure she's not having an affair? Because that would be perfect.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad. I think she loves you.
Hal: Damn! If I can't do the "You did bad, I did bad" thing, then I gotta do the "I did bad, you'll get a big, expensive present" thing. Never get married, Dewey. If you want kids, get your eggs from the state.