Lois Quote #730
Lois: [to Malcolm] You really got to stop being such a snob. There's pride in doing anything well. I'd rather you were the best toilet scrubber in the world than a slapdash Supreme Court justice. And how about showing me a little bit gratitude? There's nothing embarrassing about working at Lucky Aide.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Stilts’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Hal: Oh, Dewey. I need your help. You're always skulking around, listening in on everyone's conversations. Do you have any dirt on your mom? I need something really big and awful. I did something bad, so I have to find something that she did bad, then I can confess what I did, and it won't seem like such a big deal.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad, but I don't just stash away information...
Hal: Stash? You found the stash? You and me partners. We cut everyone else out.
Dewey: No! No! I didn't find the stash!
Hal: Okay, okay. Are you sure she's not having an affair? Because that would be perfect.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad. I think she loves you.
Hal: Damn! If I can't do the "You did bad, I did bad" thing, then I gotta do the "I did bad, you'll get a big, expensive present" thing. Never get married, Dewey. If you want kids, get your eggs from the state.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: Mom, what are you doing? I was in the middle of a game!
Lois: Do you want to explain why I found circled want ads sticking out of your backpack?!
Malcolm: Yes, I do.
Lois: I'm not interested! You are not finding another job!
Malcolm: Huh?
Lois: No! You are not getting a job away from my constant supervision, and that's it. I'm not going to risk your future by giving you even a second of freedom! This family has too much invested in you. Oh, cheer up. Once I find a proper wife for you, you'll have your precious space.
Quote from Lois
Lois: Hal? What are you doing here? Is everything all right?
Hal: Not yet, but it will be as soon as you put these on.
Lois: Are you crazy?
Hal: If loving your wife is crazy, then I'm a drooling lunatic. You deserve the moon and the sky, Lois. Maybe someday I'll be able to buy them for you, but for now, these will have to do.
Lois: Oh, Hal. Thank you.
Hal: I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
Lois: I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
Hal: I burned a hole in your favorite dress.
Lois: You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
Hal: I lost my wedding ring three years ago. This is part of a lawnmower.
Lois: Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead. I just forgot to tell you.