‘Hal's Friend’
Season 4, Episode 14 - Aired March 30, 2003
Hal invites an old high school friend to visit since Lois isn't there to stop him. Dewey finds a way to use his mother's absence to his advantage. Meanwhile, Malcolm tries to liberate Dabney from his over-bearing mother, and Otto stays with Francis when Gretchen is away.
Quote from Dabney
Dorene Hooper: Why don't you open one of my gifts?
Dabney: A new hairbrush. Thanks, Mom.
Dorene Hooper: Want to give it a try?
Dabney: Sure.
Dorene Hooper: Count down from a hundred. You boys can help.
Dabney: [combs his mother's hair] One hundred...
Both: Ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven...
Quote from Hal
Hal: Oh, ha, ha! Here he is! [opens door and shouts] Hey, you big jackass! [closes door] It was just Mrs. Haggerty turning around in our driveway.
Quote from Dabney
Dorene Hooper: Ow! Careful!
Dabney: Hold still, Mom. [knock at door] This is a tough area for us.
Dorene Hooper: Dabney, you get that. I'm going to go hop in the shower. If that's the Thompsons, tell them to move their car, then they'll get their cat back.
Quote from Malcolm
Boy: And the last thing I remember is him shoving paint balls up my nose.
Malcolm: Good. Then let's just say that's where he stopped.