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38Quotes from ‘The Window’

How I Met Your Mother: The Window

510. The Window

Aired December 7, 2009

Ted is alerted to the fact that a woman he's known since college is single again. Meanwhile, Marshall questions his life choices after reading a letter that he wrote to himself when he was fifteen.

Quote from Barney

Barney: No one... I mean no one... could get laid wearing these. [laughs] Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, being of sound mind and amazing body, will wear these overalls until I have sex with a woman. [runs off]
Robin: I actually dated that guy.


Quote from Ted

Ted: [answers phone] Hello.
Mrs. Douglas: Hello, Ted Mosby?
Ted: Yep.
Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
Ted: What?
Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
Ted: [to Marshall and Robin] The window is open.
Marshall: What are you waiting for? Run, Ted, run!

Quote from Ted

Ted: It wasn't that Maggie was hot. She was...
Marshall: The ultimate girl next door.
Ted: She was the ultimate girl next door. Still is. I mean, every guy who meets Maggie falls madly in love with her. And that's the problem. Since I've known her, she's only been single for, like, three brief windows of opportunity. [v.o.] When she moved here and broke up with her boyfriend, I waited a month. You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy. Well, the rebound guy lasted two years. After they broke up, I only waited a week. I was still too late. She dated that guy for three years. The next time, I wasn't messing around. I was at her door not one hour after they broke up. The only thing she did between becoming single and the moment I got there was go downstairs and check her mail. I was still too late. And she dated that guy for four years. I wasn't going to let this happen again, so I begged her neighbor, Mrs. Douglas, to call me the second she and David broke up. And now, a very single and available Maggie Wilks is on her way to this very spot.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Okay, not that I care about this challenge, but it's cheating to wear overalls over a suit.
Barney: No, it's not. They're not called over T-shirts, Robin. They're not called over shirtless fat guys who used to come fix my mom's car and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while. No! They're called overalls, okay? And I can wear them over whatever I want.
Barney: [to a passing woman] Hey.
Robin: Oh, he's not saying hello. He's just telling you what he feeds his horsies. Oh, man, I can sit here and make
you-look-like-a-farmer jokes all night. Challenge accepted.

Quote from Robin

Barney: [to a woman at the bar] Can I buy you a drink?
Robin: [hillbilly accent] He's got a big brown jug with three X's on it.
Barney: What have I done?

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Oh, my gosh. I totally forgot about this.
Lily: What is it?
Marshall: It's a homework assignment from when I was 15. Write a letter to your 30-year-old self with a list of goals you hope to achieve. "Dear Future Me. First off, you'd better be driving either a kick-ass Camaro or the A-Team van. That's priority numero uno. And by now your rat tail should hang down to your freakin' knees. You can still slam-dunk, obviously, and you've legally changed your name to 'Vanilla Thunder.' Your wife... let me break it down: blonde, six feet tall, has an awesome rack and caters to your every need." Sorry, babe.
Lily: That's OK. You just described your mother.
Marshall: Ew.

Quote from Future Ted

Ted: Who's this?
Maggie: This is Adam. It's so crazy. We grew up next door to each other. We haven't seen each other since...
Adam: A long time.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then Maggie Wilks told us the second-greatest love story I've ever heard.
Adam: I just moved to town and I had to look her up.
Maggie: I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do.
Ted: Yeah, of course.
Future Ted: [v.o.] So, kids, I missed out on the ultimate girl next door... to the guy next door.
Ted: See you next time.
Future Ted: [v.o.] There was no "next time". Maggie's window never opened again.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: [writing] "Dear 60-year-old Marshall. You should be working somewhere that's making the world a better place, or at least trying to. No pressure, dude. I mean, sir. Also, if time travel is possible, maybe you could give me a little sign on Tuesday, December 8th at... 8:29 p.m."
[Marshall waits]
Lily: So, someone sent back these chicken wings, because they were too hot. And I'm like, "Too hot? Are you crazy?" So, free wings.
Marshall: [writes] "Old Man Marshall, as long as you're still married to Lily, you're doing just fine."
Wendy: Sir, this is on us. Sorry the wings were so hot.
Elderly Marshall: No, dear. It wasn't that they were too hot. It's just that I had wings earlier. Much earlier.

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