Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Window’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

How I Met Your Mother: The Window

510. The Window

Aired December 7, 2009

Ted is alerted to the fact that a woman he's known since college is single again. Meanwhile, Marshall questions his life choices after reading a letter that he wrote to himself when he was fifteen.

Quote from Barney

Barney: No one... I mean no one... could get laid wearing these. [laughs] Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, being of sound mind and amazing body, will wear these overalls until I have sex with a woman. [runs off]
Robin: I actually dated that guy.


Quote from Ted

Ted: [answers phone] Hello.
Mrs. Douglas: Hello, Ted Mosby?
Ted: Yep.
Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
Ted: What?
Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
Ted: [to Marshall and Robin] The window is open.
Marshall: What are you waiting for? Run, Ted, run!

Quote from Ted

Ted: It wasn't that Maggie was hot. She was...
Marshall: The ultimate girl next door.
Ted: She was the ultimate girl next door. Still is. I mean, every guy who meets Maggie falls madly in love with her. And that's the problem. Since I've known her, she's only been single for, like, three brief windows of opportunity. [v.o.] When she moved here and broke up with her boyfriend, I waited a month. You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy. Well, the rebound guy lasted two years. After they broke up, I only waited a week. I was still too late. She dated that guy for three years. The next time, I wasn't messing around. I was at her door not one hour after they broke up. The only thing she did between becoming single and the moment I got there was go downstairs and check her mail. I was still too late. And she dated that guy for four years. I wasn't going to let this happen again, so I begged her neighbor, Mrs. Douglas, to call me the second she and David broke up. And now, a very single and available Maggie Wilks is on her way to this very spot.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Okay, not that I care about this challenge, but it's cheating to wear overalls over a suit.
Barney: No, it's not. They're not called over T-shirts, Robin. They're not called over shirtless fat guys who used to come fix my mom's car and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while. No! They're called overalls, okay? And I can wear them over whatever I want.
Barney: [to a passing woman] Hey.
Robin: Oh, he's not saying hello. He's just telling you what he feeds his horsies. Oh, man, I can sit here and make
you-look-like-a-farmer jokes all night. Challenge accepted.

Quote from Robin

Barney: [to a woman at the bar] Can I buy you a drink?
Robin: [hillbilly accent] He's got a big brown jug with three X's on it.
Barney: What have I done?

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Oh, my gosh. I totally forgot about this.
Lily: What is it?
Marshall: It's a homework assignment from when I was 15. Write a letter to your 30-year-old self with a list of goals you hope to achieve. "Dear Future Me. First off, you'd better be driving either a kick-ass Camaro or the A-Team van. That's priority numero uno. And by now your rat tail should hang down to your freakin' knees. You can still slam-dunk, obviously, and you've legally changed your name to 'Vanilla Thunder.' Your wife... let me break it down: blonde, six feet tall, has an awesome rack and caters to your every need." Sorry, babe.
Lily: That's OK. You just described your mother.
Marshall: Ew.

Quote from Future Ted

Ted: Who's this?
Maggie: This is Adam. It's so crazy. We grew up next door to each other. We haven't seen each other since...
Adam: A long time.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then Maggie Wilks told us the second-greatest love story I've ever heard.
Adam: I just moved to town and I had to look her up.
Maggie: I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do.
Ted: Yeah, of course.
Future Ted: [v.o.] So, kids, I missed out on the ultimate girl next door... to the guy next door.
Ted: See you next time.
Future Ted: [v.o.] There was no "next time". Maggie's window never opened again.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: [writing] "Dear 60-year-old Marshall. You should be working somewhere that's making the world a better place, or at least trying to. No pressure, dude. I mean, sir. Also, if time travel is possible, maybe you could give me a little sign on Tuesday, December 8th at... 8:29 p.m."
[Marshall waits]
Lily: So, someone sent back these chicken wings, because they were too hot. And I'm like, "Too hot? Are you crazy?" So, free wings.
Marshall: [writes] "Old Man Marshall, as long as you're still married to Lily, you're doing just fine."
Wendy: Sir, this is on us. Sorry the wings were so hot.
Elderly Marshall: No, dear. It wasn't that they were too hot. It's just that I had wings earlier. Much earlier.

Quote from Robin

Marshall: Well... got another one.
Ted: Boy.
Robin: What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box?! Right? Brad Pitt... Seven? Nothing? Yeah, I'm the jerk. What's in the box?

Quote from Marshall

Ted: Well, ever since Marshall and Lily got their own place, his mom keeps sending them boxes of his stuff she's trying to get rid of.
Marshall: Thanks, Mom. You really nailed it this time. I really needed He-Man's right arm and this old book of Mad Libs. "Fart went to the fart to fart fartly." [laughs] That's nice.
Ted: That's good stuff.
Marshall: Thanks, Mom.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode