Ted: It wasn't that Maggie was hot. She was...
Marshall: The ultimate girl next door.
Ted: She was the ultimate girl next door. Still is. I mean, every guy who meets Maggie falls madly in love with her. And that's the problem. Since I've known her, she's only been single for, like, three brief windows of opportunity. [v.o.] When she moved here and broke up with her boyfriend, I waited a month. You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy. Well, the rebound guy lasted two years. After they broke up, I only waited a week. I was still too late. She dated that guy for three years. The next time, I wasn't messing around. I was at her door not one hour after they broke up. The only thing she did between becoming single and the moment I got there was go downstairs and check her mail. I was still too late. And she dated that guy for four years. I wasn't going to let this happen again, so I begged her neighbor, Mrs. Douglas, to call me the second she and David broke up. And now, a very single and available Maggie Wilks is on her way to this very spot.