Ted: Barney. What, you're back?
Barney: That's right.
Ted: In a totally new costume.
Barney: Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.

Barney: You know what I love about Halloween? It's the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. If a girl dresses up as she a witch, she's a slutty witch. If she's a cat, she's a slutty cat. If she's a nurse...
Lily: Wow, we get it.
Barney: She's a slutty nurse.

[flashback:]
Ted: I just met the perfect woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She loves Star Wars.
Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's her take on Ewoks?
Ted: Loves them.
Marshall: Oh good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. The Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.
Ted: Get this, she's a marine biologist. She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.
Marshall: Oh, penguins are cool, kinda like black and white Ewoks. I approve.

Marshall: I still think we should have won as Sonny and Cher. Maybe if I had worn that red dress. Ha, if I could turn back time.

Future Ted: [v.o.] You know how Aunt Robin's a big fan of Halloween, always dressing up in crazy costumes? Well, she wasn't always that way. Back in 2005, she thought she was too cool for Halloween, unlike Aunt Lily.

Lily: Guess what came in the mail today?
Marshall: Our costumes? Do they rule?
Lily: They rule. And yours is 100% wool so you won't get hypothermia like last year.
Marshall: Tarzan nipple blue.

Marshall: Robin, what are you doing for Halloween?
Robin: Oh, I don't know. Probably hanging out with Mike, this guy I've been seeing.
Lily: Mike? There's a Mike? You have a boyfriend? You haven't told us?
Robin: No, I mean, he's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.
Lily: [sing-songy] Boyfriend.
Marshall: So why haven't we met him?
Robin: We're not really ready to go public yet.
Barney: [sing-songy] Married.

Robin: Hey, Ted, what are you doing for Halloween?
Ted: Well...
Marshall, Lily, Barney: Aw.
Robin: What?
Lily: Every Halloween Ted waits for the Slutty Pumpkin.
Ted: That's right.
Robin: What's the Slutty Pumpkin?
Ted: You mean, who is the Slutty Pumpkin? It was four years ago. I was at this Halloween party up on the roof of our building. I'm about to call it an early night when out of nowhere appeared this girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume.
Robin: Wait, how can a pumpkin costume be sexy?
Ted: It was carved in strategic places.

Ted: So, uh, we're at the bar and I see her mix kahlua...
Lily: Kahlua and root beer.
Marshall: A cocktail she invented herself.
Ted: And she...
Barney: And she called it the Tootsie Roll.
Lily, Marshall, Barney: Because it tastes like an alcoholic Tootsie Roll.
Ted: Hey, can I please tell this story?

Marshall: So, what do you think?
Lily: [repeats like a parrot] So, what do you think? [squawks]
Ted: Wow! Marshall, you wearing eye liner?
Marshall: Oh, yeah. Weirdly hot, right?
Lily: We are so gonna win the costume contest this year.
Marshall: First prize, $50 gift certificate at the bar.
Ted: And how much did you pay for your costumes?
Marshall: $100.
Lily: [as a parrot] Each.