‘The Best Man’
Season 7, Episode 1 - Aired September 19, 2011
As Barney prepares for his wedding to a mystery bride, he and Ted reminisce about the worst wedding ever: Punchy's wedding. In September 2011, at Punch's wedding, Lily and Marshall try to keep their pregnancy a secret, while Robin considers telling Barney she still has feelings for him.
Quote from Lily
Marshall: I'm just so happy. I don't know how we're going to keep this secret for three months.
Lily: Relax. It'll be easy.
Carl: What'll you have?
Lily: Four beers, plus one non-alcoholic.
Carl: You're pregnant! Get in here!
Quote from Robin
Robin: You're trying to get laid here?
Barney: What?
Robin: God, Barney, tonight is a magical night between Ted's annoying friend and what's-her-face. Have some respect.
Quote from Lily
Punchy: Who's doing shots? Come on, let's go.
Lily: Oh, no, thank you.
Punchy: What are you pregnant or something?
Lily: Let's get hammered! [to Marshall] You're drinking for two tonight, baby.
Marshall: I will do this for the child.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: I told you, I'm not here to brag, okay?
Marshall: [slurred] That's it. You're too polite to brag. Well, fine. Let me. Because the only person on Earth who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen. So game on.
Quote from Robin
Barney: Nora's finally calling me back.
Robin: Wait, you said you never called her.
Barney: I lied. I called her, like, five times. Wait, wait! You of all people know how much I suck at these things.
You gotta help me. Please? Just once I would like to see what it feels like to not screw things up.
Robin: Yeah, mm-hmm. Okay.
Barney: [answers phone] Hey, Nora. Thanks for calling me back. Um, hey, hi. The- The- Tthe reason that, um, I called is, uh...
Robin: To tell you how I feel about you.
Barney: ...to tell you how I feel about you.
Robin: I know we didn't work out the first time...
Barney: I know we didn't work out the first time...
Robin: ...and I know it doesn't make any sense...
Barney: ...and I know it doesn't make any sense...
Robin: ...but I can't shake the feeling that we belong together.
Barney: ...but I can't shake this feeling that we belong together.
Robin: Is there any part of you that wants to try again?
Barney: Is there any part of you that wants to try again?
[Barney gives Robin a thumbs up]
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Baby, I can't take it anymore. I've gotta tell somebody that we're pregnant.
Lily: Eriksen, stay strong. We're keeping this secret.
Marshall: There's babies everywhere. It's like a minefield of cuteness. Look at this little bastard.
Lily: Marshall, stop it. Stay strong. You can't let holding some, some little baby... [takes the baby] Oh, with the cute little cheeks and the... the little arms and little legs. This son of a bitch has knee dimples. Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant.
Quote from Robin
Ted: You okay?
Robin: Nope. You?
Ted: Not excessively. You want to talk about it?
Robin: Not even a little.
Ted: Might make you feel better.
Robin: Okay, fine, I'll make you a deal: you go first, and then I'll stick with my thing about not talking about it.
Ted: Okay. All my friends from high school, they're here with their wives, their kids. Me? My date for the night is a sticky magazine.
Robin: Sounds like high school all over again. Sorry, it was right there.
Quote from Robin
Ted: Hey, we still have our 40 deal, right? If we're both still single at 40...
Robin: I'm all yours.
Ted: Hmm
Robin: Unrelated, do architects make big money?
Ted: Aggressively medium money.
Robin: Damn it.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: [sobbing] We're here tonight to celebrate love. Love brings us new life... [The people at the Finnish table laugh]
Marshall: Hey! This isn't a meltdown. These are tears of joy. Ted is happy for his friends 'cause he's the best guy that I know. And do you know why he's happy? Because this beautiful lady right here is pregnant.
Kelly: How did you know that?! That was supposed to be a secret!
Quote from Future Ted
Kelly's father: How dare you. That's my daughter, you piece of garbage.
Punchy: You're still gonna pay for all this, right?
Punchy's father: "Piece of garbage"? That's my son.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that is how Marshall destroyed Punchy's wedding. But we didn't care. There was gonna be a sixth member of our little family.