Barney: If Liddy came back to the table and you said...
[fantasy scene:]
Ted: Uh, Liddy, why don't you... take off that coat?
Liddy: You want me to take my coat off? How about instead, I take off your face?
Barney: Ow! Ow, oh!
[present:]
Ted: Really? You had to have her beat me up?
Barney: She's not done, Ted.
[fantasy:]
Liddy: Ghost Protocol wasn't that good!

Barney: Marshall, on the other hand, girls take one look and just know there's a guy who's met the girl of his dreams and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and only her.
Robin: So why don't you ask her?
Barney: Pardon me?
Robin: Aren't you a guy who's met the girl of his dreams and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and only her?
Barney: Of course, baby.
Robin: So why don't you ask her to take her coat off?
Barney: Um... [long silence]
Ted: And you never even saw Ghost Protocol.

Lily: [answers phone] Hello? [silence] Ahoy.
The Captain: Ahoy, Lily. I just had a long talk with your husband. He convinced me to offer you that job in Rome again. How do you respond?
Lily: Thanks, but the answer is still no.

Robin: Lily, why the hell did you turn that down again.
Lily: Because I'd have to get a new passport photo. And I'd miss out on New York in August. And plus, they opened a Shake Shack on our block, so...

Ted: Lily, what's the real reason?
Lily: What if we moved to Rome...
[fantasy of The Captain presenting a piece of art with Lily in Italy:]
The Captain: What's so funny?
Italian Man: I'm uh sorry. I can't believe you paid a 10 million euro this painting.
The Captain: Why not?
Italian Man: This is not even a painting. I spin my plate, it's gonna fill a blank canvas. Smell it. It's like a toilet. It just make you look, uh, stupido.
The Captain: Lily, you're fired.
Lily: What? But no. I... it's still a great painting. I like what it says about the structure in society and the changing worlds of women.
The Captain: [speaks loudly in Italian]
[later, the picture is black-and-white as Lily sips coffee at an outdoor cafe and starts talking to a woman:]
Woman: [in Italian] What do you do for a living?
Lily: I used to be an art consultant.
Woman: [in Italian] My husband used to be married to an art consultant. Here he is now!
[The woman walks over to Marshall, who rides up on a vespa]
Marshall: Hey baby. It's time for Marvin's... bottle.

Barney: I can't wait for my wedding day. I mean, there is no way that Liddy is gonna be wearing that coat, right? Right? "Barney Stinson, do you hope she wears something slinky and backless?" "I do".
Ted: Okay, can I just say something as your best man? Be careful.
Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: You just... You haven't been acting like a guy who's about to get married, and I know you think it's okay because Robin's so cool, but I'm telling you, she's not as cool as you think she is.
Barney: Oh, I see. And you'd know this because you know Robin better than I do. You know what she appreciates better than her own fiance.
Ted: I'm just saying, if I was getting married in three weeks...
Barney: But you're not getting married in three weeks, Ted. I am. Robin's marrying me, not you.
Ted: You're right. Not my place. Why don't I get the next round?