Barney Quote #1903

Quote from Barney in Something Old

[Barney and Robin Sr. address their laser tag teams]
Robin Sr.: All right, here's the bottom line, cockroaches. There's no end in sight and we've got no provisions. If it comes down to it, I need a volunteer to let the rest of us... eat him.
Boy: Barney's team seems way more fun.
Robin Sr.: Nonsense.
Barney: Candy for everyone! Okay, Team Animal House, who wants to try a cigar?
Kids: Yeah!
Robin Sr.: I'm not saying we're gonna start with your face or anything, but is there seriously no one herewilling to give up a hand or a foot?

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 ‘Something Old’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Ted: Now, as you know, I'm a bit of a legend when it comes to packing.
Marshall & Lily: We know.
Ted: Tales are still told of the time I traveled all through Spain for two weeks with everything I needed efficiently packed into a hands-free belt satchel. The locals called me...
[title: "El Ganso con la Riñonera"]
Lily: Yeah, it's not a "hands-free belt satchel," Ted. It's a fanny pack.
Ted: It's not a fanny pack.
Marshall: In Spanish, El Ganso con la Riñonera means "Fanny Pack Dork."
Ted: No, it doesn't. It means "Packer of Great Skill and Merit."
Future Ted: [v.o.] I looked it up. It means "Fanny Pack Dork."

Quote from Lily

Marshall: But these handbags? Gonzo.
Lily: No way! These have sentimental meaning to me.
Marshall: Didn't you shop-lift these in your 20s?
Lily: Yes, and I get very nostalgic for that time. You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing, it's sad.

Quote from Robin

Future Ted: [v.o.] In 1994, Robin's dad took her to New York City for the first time...
[flashback:]
Robin: This is amazing! Thank you, sir!
Robin Sr.: Well, a little father-son bonding trip never hurt anyone.
Robin: I-I did almost die from malnutrition on that wolf hunt last year...
Robin Sr.: I had to almost kill you for you to learn how to kill.
Robin: [sighs happily] New York City's the best, eh?
Robin Sr.: I despise it. It's like Edmonton, minus the arts and culture. Come on, we'll miss our flight.
Robin: I'll catch up. [to herself] One day, I'm gonna move here, marry a sophisticated big-city man with a sick mullet - like all the way down to his shoulder pads, and at night, he'll let me brush it - and I'll dig up this locket so it can be my "something old" at our wedding.
Robin Sr.: R.J.!
Robin: Coming, sir! [whispers] I'll be back for you.