James Quote #4
Quote from James in Single Stamina
Future Ted: [v.o.] Yeah, Barney and James together was a lethal combination. Since there was never any crossover in targets, James was always there for Barney with the assist.
[flashback to James and Barney at MacLaren's]:
James: [to a woman] Whoa. Your scarf... it is fierce!
Woman: Thanks. H&M.
James: What? I would never know, 'cause it is so hot that my eyes are melting. Oh, I can't see. Hey! You know, speaking of things that would look good wrapped around you, have you met my straight brother, Barney? Oh, he is fab...don't you go nowhere...ulous. Okay?
Features in the collection: Have you met... Ted?.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Have you met... Ted?’
Quote from Barney in Farhampton
Barney: I'm sorry I lied to you. I'll tell you everything. The whole story.
Quinn: Fine. You have one minute before I walk out that door.
Barney: Um, it's, uh, kind of a long story, Quinn. Gonna take a bit little longer than a minute.
Quinn: 52 seconds.
Barney: Seven years ago, when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room, and I said, "Oh, yeah, you just know she likes it dirty," but Ted really liked her so we played "Have you met Ted?" They went to dinner, he walked her home, shoulda kissed her, didn't - lame - so he stole a smurf pen1s, went back to her place, should've kissed her, didn't. Lame. He threw three parties, they kissed on the roof, but decided to be friends - lame - then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding, she couldn't go, he went alone and met Victoria, didn't kiss her either - lame - not a great closer, Ted. But he finally kissed her, they started dating, she went to Germany, Ted kissed Robin, lost Victoria, Ted did a rain dance, got Robin, Ted and Robin broke up, Robin moved to Brazil, came back with a Latin stud, Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp, not really relevant to the story I just like mentioning that as much as possible. I hooked up with Robin, Ted and I stopped being friends, Ted got hit by a bus, we made up... [intake of breath] Robin and I started dating, I got fat, her hair fell out. We broke up, Robin dated Don, I dated Nora, cheated on her with Robin, I dumped Nora, Robin dated Kevin, but not for long, and then I met you and you took my grandpa's watch but I fell in love with you anyway, and you let me fart in front of you and I asked you to marry me and you said yes and we came over here to meet little Marvin and that's everything! Also I went on The Price Is Right and won a dune buggy.
Quinn: Goodbye, Barney.
Quote from Barney in Purple Giraffe
Barney: Exactly! Ted, let's wrap. Statistic: at every New York party there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... hu-with this?
Ted: Barney, I don't wanna say.
Barney: Argh! Scoping, beep, scoping, beep!
Lily: Man you're a dork.
Barney: Beep, beep, beep, beep. Target acquired! And now it's time we play a little game I like to call "Have You Met Ted?"
Ted: No, come on not this.
Barney: [taps woman] Hi! Have you met Ted?
‘Single Stamina’ Quotes
Quote from James
James: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, you are young, attractive people here in the greatest city on earth. There are boys and girls in Nobody Cares, Wyoming, wishing they could be here. But instead, they are in someone's basement drinking bad malt liquor, debating whether or not they're going to spend their Saturday night in the parking lot of the feed store or in some other dude's basement. You owe it to them to rise up and shimmy your lazy asses into something hot, and you go out there and you live their dream! Can I get a "hell, yeah"?
All: Hell, yeah!
James: Can I get a "hell, yeah"?
All: Hell, yeah!
James: Can I get a "woo-woo"?
All: Woo-woo!
James: Go do it for Wyoming!
All: Yes!
James: Testify!
Quote from Loretta
[Flashback to 1982, where young Barney and James are watching TV:]
Future Ted: [v.o.] The truth is, Barney and James got a lot of different explanations from their mom over the years.
Loretta: Well, boys, you look different because when I was pregnant with you, I only ate vanilla ice cream. And when I was pregnant with you, can you guess what kind of ice cream I ate?
James: Coffee?
Loretta: No, James, I ate chocolate ice cream. But I did drink tons of coffee when I was pregnant with both of you. Can't smoke without my coffee.
[flashback to 1984:]
Loretta: I don't know, boys, I guess it's just one of those things.
[flashback to 1986:]
Loretta: Stop asking me! You know what you two are? You're little racists!
Quote from James
Marshall: Yeah, so now the wedding's back on.
Lily: Anyway, James, how have you been?
James: Awesome, as per "uze." I just went skinny-skydiving. Legendary. And my laser tag team, just made it to regional finals. "Legendary-er." And by now you've noticed the suit. Go ahead, touch it. Handcrafted by Pietro Dellacamera, Milan's famous 101-year-old tailor, who upon completing the very last stitch in this suit dropped dead, which is ironic because that is how gorgeous I look in it. C'mon. [dances] Gimme five.
Barney: Is "gimme five" back?
James: Oh, yeah. I put it in my blog this morning.
Barney: Guys, "gimme five" is back!