Lily Quote #653
Quote from Lily in Band or DJ
Ted: I am happy for them.
Lily: Is all you'll let yourself say out loud. Because if you said anything to the contrary, well, that would make you the most awful person on this rooftop. So, I'm gonna give you an out.
Ted: And how are you gonna do that?
Lily: By saying something that is even more awful.
Ted: Like what?
Lily: Sometimes I wish I wasn't a mom. Sometimes I want to pack a bag and leave in the middle of the night, and not come back.
Ted: Robin shouldn't be with Barney. She should be with me.
Lily: You serious?
Lily: I don't know. I mean, I love being a mom. I... I love Marvin so much. But do you remember when I wanted to be an artist? Art was my whole life. And- And now it's been months since I've even picked up a brush. I-I spend the whole day taking care of kids at my job... and I come home, and it's more of the same. It just... It never lets up. It's just really, really hard, Ted.
Ted: Have you talked to Marshall about how you feel?
Lily: Have you talked to Robin about how you feel?
Ted: Fair enough.
Lily: I just think we have to accept our lots in life... and I have to be a mom to a... a beautiful, wonderful, if slightly constipated, little boy. And you have to let Robin and Barney get a band.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Band or DJ’ Quotes
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Okay, Ted. Bar. Now.
Lily: Nice try. You're gonna stick me with that baby, so that you guys can spend five minutes sorting out his love life followed by an hour of you getting drunk and pretending to be in The Departed.
Marshall: You know what? I'm sorry, Lily. Okay? But I just need to know. [Boston accent] Are you a cop?
Ted: [Boston accent] I'm not a cop!
Marshall: Are you a cop?
Ted: I'm not a cop!
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Food going in isn't the problem. It's what's coming out... or not coming out. He hasn't pooped in three days.
Lily: Yeah. Normally, I wouldn't wish one of his dirty diapers on my worst enemy, but now I kind of miss poppin'
the hood in the morning and finding that first big, juicy, black...
Ted: Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili, Lily.
Lily: Confetti. Big blast of confetti. Normally, the kid's a confetti machine. He's Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Marshall: I have a feeling at this point, Rip Taylor is Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Ted: And with that image, dinner is done.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] I made a pretty strong case that night, but in the end, she didn't want a deejay. She wanted a band. And guess what happened.
[four months later:]
Ted: That's right. The band canceled at the last minute... just like I said they would. The wedding is in a week, and no bands. When will people realize I always know what's what?
Cindy: He says to the lesbian he dated for a month.
Ted: That's a fair point. Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any good wedding bands... available at the last minute, would you?
Casey: Ted, do you believe in destiny?
Ted: You really don't know me, do you?
Cindy: We just had brunch with my ex-roommate.
Ted: The bass player?
Cindy: No, she's not just a bass player. She's a bass player in the best wedding band in the tristate area. They had a gig lined up for this weekend, but it just fell through this morning.
Casey: You, my friend, are gonna save that wedding.
Ted: Do you know any deejays?
Cindy: Dude, come on!
Casey: Let it go, bro. Just let it go.
Ted: All right, all right, all right. Well, I guess, uh... Guess it's a lucky thing I ran into you guys.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And, kids, "lucky" doesn't even begin to describe it. Because if Robin and Barney had taken my stupid advice and hired a deejay... I never would have met your mother.