Future Ted: [v.o.] I made a pretty strong case that night, but in the end, she didn't want a deejay. She wanted a band. And guess what happened.
[four months later:]
Ted: That's right. The band canceled at the last minute... just like I said they would. The wedding is in a week, and no bands. When will people realize I always know what's what?
Cindy: He says to the lesbian he dated for a month.
Ted: That's a fair point. Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any good wedding bands... available at the last minute, would you?
Casey: Ted, do you believe in destiny?
Ted: You really don't know me, do you?
Cindy: We just had brunch with my ex-roommate.
Ted: The bass player?
Cindy: No, she's not just a bass player. She's a bass player in the best wedding band in the tristate area. They had a gig lined up for this weekend, but it just fell through this morning.
Casey: You, my friend, are gonna save that wedding.
Ted: Do you know any deejays?
Cindy: Dude, come on!
Casey: Let it go, bro. Just let it go.
Ted: All right, all right, all right. Well, I guess, uh... Guess it's a lucky thing I ran into you guys.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And, kids, "lucky" doesn't even begin to describe it. Because if Robin and Barney had taken my stupid advice and hired a deejay... I never would have met your mother.

Marshall: Food going in isn't the problem. It's what's coming out... or not coming out. He hasn't pooped in three days.
Lily: Yeah. Normally, I wouldn't wish one of his dirty diapers on my worst enemy, but now I kind of miss poppin'
the hood in the morning and finding that first big, juicy, black...
Ted: Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili, Lily.
Lily: Confetti. Big blast of confetti. Normally, the kid's a confetti machine. He's Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Marshall: I have a feeling at this point, Rip Taylor is Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Ted: And with that image, dinner is done.

Robin Sr.: I'm glad you could meet me here at my favorite restaurant. Carol and I come here all the time.
Robin: I... You... When... Da... Who's Carol?
Robin Sr.: Oh, right. You... You haven't met Carol. Um, very special woman. Forty-eight years old, dental hygienist, no kids. Likes Zumba. She's the reason I moved to New York City.
Robin: Eight months ago. Thanks for the call, by the way.
Robin Sr.: Well, I figured you knew. It's on my Facebook page. You really should respond to my friend request. I post a lot of great stuff. Are you familiar with memes? There's a cat who says, "I can has cheezburger?"